Page 55 of A Cursed Noel

Males aren’t supposedto cry.

We keep our emotionsbottled in tight.

Except no real malestands a chance against true love.

Celia, my God, she’sall heart. And she’s pounding mine to dust.

“I can’t answerthat,” I reply, truthfully. I raise her chin, my voice raw. “Notwhen I don’t know how I’ll live without your smile.” Sheblushes. I grin but it pains me. “Yeah, that, too.”

Christmas is tomorrow.

She and her family aresafe.

It’s time for me togo.

I wish I could throwsomething or kill those nullits all over again. Damn, I’m so angrythat I have to leave her vulnerable and alone.

Mimi won’t permit mypresence much longer. I’m waiting to evaporate into thin air ormaybe go out in a fiery explosion. I can’t tell with Mimi.

Just like I can’ttell my Celia goodbye.

The condoms Taran gaveme are practically burning a hole through my pocket. I guide Celia tothe couch. I want to hold her. Hell, there’s a lot I want to do toher. But I don’t want to force or rush her. So, I release her, andplace my forearms along my thighs.

My eyes sting and mythroat is on fire with desperate words I wish I could say.

“Tell me somethingabout you,” I tell her.

“What?” she asks.She gives it some thought. Yeah, she heard me. “What do you want toknow?”

I angle my chin to faceher. “Anything.”

She smiles, even as atear drop falls from her chin to wet her jeans. “I want babies,”she says.

“What?”

She laughs, her faceheating. “Not now, wolf.” Her humor fades, just enough to leaveher small smile. “I lost my parents too soon and I found Ana Lisatoo late.” She sighs. “I want babies to call my own, to raise andnever let them go.”

“You want a family,”I say slowly.

I’m not trying tomake her cry. Yet another tear splashes against her jeans. “I wantto give what I didn’t receive, and love in a way I was denied.”She pauses as if unsure of herself. “Is that wrong?”

I shake my head. “No.I want what was taken from me, too.”

I force my breathing toslow. God, it’s like every cell is screaming for air, threateningto suffocate me without her beside me. I can’t leave her. I justfucking can’t.

“What are youthinking?” she asks.

Again, I don’t wantto upset her except I don’t want to lie either. “That I can’timagine a world where we don’t end up together.”

She clasps her handsover her eyes and chokes back a sob. I gather her against me, wishingI could kick my own ass for hurting her. “If I’m really yours,find me, okay?” she says. “Whatever you do, don’t let me live alife without you.”

“I’ll find you. Iswear it.” I mean what I say. But in a world of billions, how isthat even possible? I’m supposed to be this bigshot now, right? I’msupposed to fill that role my kind always knew I would. If that’strue, my responsibilities can take me anywhere. Where will the worldtake her?

And what will it do toher while I’m gone?

She looks up at me, hereyes shimmering with her tears. “Aric, no one makes me feel the wayyou do. But what if you find someone, before you find me?”

“Never.”