Page 80 of A Vow of Shadows
“There’s no need for fancy titles. We’re all equal in death, are we not?”
Evander dipped his head, a small smile on his lips. “As you say. We have come to guide you to the next world.”
I didn’t miss the way he included me in that statement. Whether Death knew it or not, this time with my father was a gift—a chance for us to have a proper goodbye.
We left as we’d entered, this time with my father in tow. I joined him in the carriage, Evander fully capable of driving now that the source of his pain had disappeared.
For several long minutes, the only sound was the crunch of gravel beneath the wheels and hooves. From the unhurried pace,I knew Evander was granting us what time he could. The hours until sunrise were too few, the things left to say too great.
I chewed my lip and twisted my skirt between my fingers. My leg bounced incessantly, but my father remained the picture of serenity. Peace had settled over him like it never had in life.
“I’m sorry,” he said, folding his hands in his lap.
My eyes widened at the statement. “What do you have to be sorry for?Iam sorry. For leaving the way I did, for not saying goodbye, for doubting your care when you wanted only what was best for me.”
“I did, but possibly at the expense of what was actually best for you.” His gaze dropped. “You were a duke’s daughter, but you were so much more. You couldhave been so much more if I hadn’t failed you. Even before you left, you were trying to tell me, and I wouldn’t listen.”
I shook my head, blinking back tears. “It was unbelievable.”
“It was true. Even if it hadn’t been, you believed it to be true, and a father should always trust his daughter above all else, even reason.”
A laugh bubbled out of me, half sob. “You were the only one that fought for me. I could never fault you for that.”
He smiled, but I couldn’t find it in me to return the expression. Nothing could erase the very real possibility that I was to blame for my father’s death.
As if sensing the direction of my thoughts, my father cleared his throat. “Tell me about this reaper fellow. You and he seem to have grown close in your time away.”
My cheeks heated at his insinuation, but I was grateful for the change in subject. “His name is Evander, and he is the Ferrier of Souls.”
I told him everything. From my plan to leave to its execution, to my bargain with Evander and the threat that Death posed. I told him of Moira and Sam, of Death’s demon beasts and Ani.All the while, my father listened. Occasionally, he’d nod or ask for clarification. By the end of my tale, his serene expression had morphed into one of concern.
“And what do you plan to do now?” he asked, reaching across the carriage to capture my hands in his.
I shrugged, unable to speak around the knot in my throat.
The carriage slowed and halted.
“We’re here.” Evander’s voice filtered into the cabin clearly enough that I suspected he’d heard our entire conversation.
My grip on my father’s hands tightened as my heart beat faster. Too soon. It was too soon. The door opened, and I couldn't let go. I wouldn’t. Not yet.
“I will be accompanying my father.” My tone left no room for argument. “As far as I can.”
Evander nodded like he’d expected as much.
We trekked through the forest, following no discernible path. I kept hold of my father’s hand the entire way for fear he would slip away to The Beyond before we said our goodbyes. Evander led the way, speaking quietly about what my father could expect moving forward, the trials and the demons he may face to gain entry to the Afterworld. Though he’d likely recited the same information hundreds of times, his voice was soft, compassionate.
I did not think we had crossed into The Between, but the world around us was just as eerily quiet. There were no sounds of life beyond our footsteps and the calm, even cadence of Evander’s voice. No animals sounded. Even the leaves did not rustle in the breeze.
Eventually, trees gave way to shrubs and the view opened to reveal a large body of water. The glassy surface glistened in the moonlight, giving the appearance that you could walk right onto it. Whatever existed on the other side was hidden by a thick layer of fog.
A weathered dock jutted out from the shore with a small vessel tied at the end. Evander took my other hand, helping me into the boat. My father and I took a seat on one of the built-in benches and Evander the other. He faced towards us and picked up a set of oars, placing them into the oarlocks on either side of the boat. With strong, steady strokes we moved across the water, ripples left in our wake.
We entered the fog, so dense I could make out nothing past the ends of the oars. I gripped my father’s hand in both of mine, placing a kiss on his knuckles as tears rolled freely down my cheeks.
“I love you,” I whispered, certain I hadn’t said it enough during his life.
“I know,” he said, patting my hand. “You were my everything, Katrin.” Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to my brow.