Page 53 of Forbidden Fruit
I set the knife down and just lay my hands on the kitchen counter, a slight tremble in my muscles. In sync, Lino and I look over our shoulders, but Anton and Livia are busy with their games.
Our eyes meet and my throat dries up. The grey of his irises has turned to a tempest of smoke and mist, speaking ofheightened emotions. I love that his eyes truly are a window to his soul. I can read him so much better when I can see into him.
His fingers tentatively touch mine before his whole palm engulfs my smaller one. I turn my hand, linking our fingers together.
More than his mouth on the most intimate part of my body, more than the ropes he knotted on my skin, the intimacy of this simple moment has me dizzy. My throat closes with emotions. I swallow the tears that threaten to rise.
“Are you gonna kiss like Mammona and Babbone?”
Anton’s now standing at our feet, his head cocked to the side, the not-so-innocent question hanging between us like a guillotine. I wrench my hand away but notice that Lino doesn’t say a thing.
“No, of course not,anghuli.” I laugh it off but his eyes follow me with curiosity as I place the salad on the table. I give a frantic look to Lino that tries to convey ‘Help me’ but he looks unfazed. If he thinks that’s how you break the news to children, he’s sorely mistaken. I give a subtle shake of my head and his jaw muscles contract with displeasure.
The near-kiss incident is fast forgotten as the children entertain us with their stories.
When the meal is finished, I go back to my flat and wait for my goodnight text with the biggest smile on my face.
TWENTY-EIGHT
QUICKIES ARE THE BEST
The very next day after I invited her over for dinner, I’m finally ready.
My skin buzzes with excitement and the need to tell Vanessa as I make my way home. With theschool holidays just starting, I found a summer school for both ofmy children that will free up Vanessa’s time.
With her nanny duties coming to an end, I think a transition into who she is to me will be easier for Anton and Livia. And for me. Even if they already call her my girlfriend and consider her part of the family, I want to make things right.
When I get to my house, Vanessa is sitting on the couch with Anton under her right arm and Livia under the left. Livia’s head gently rests on Vanessa’s shoulders as she reads them a story. They hang on to her every word.
I stay rooted in place, observing from the corridor and writing the scene in indelible ink in my memory. For the first time in a long time, my stomach doesn’t fall to my feet as I enter my home. My shoulders aren’t heavy like they’re carrying the weight of the world. The usual dark nothingness that looms around every corner of my home takes on a lighter colour, a grey that could almost be white or sandy beige.
Too soon, Vanessa senses my presence and turns her head in my direction, greeting me with a bright smile that illuminates the crevices of my broken soul.
“Hello, Lino,” she says.
She’s taken to calling me Lino in front of the kids for a week now and every time, I cherish the sound.
Vanessa’s pink blush makes my heart rate somersault in excitement. I tamper it down by biting my cheek and turning into the kitchen, occupying my hands so I don’t reach for her. Everything is ready, but I stir the pasta sauce Vanessa made mindlessly.
While my back is turned, she approaches me. Her delicate fingers graze my back in a soft and intimate caress. A delicious shiver travels up my spine. The gesture is simple. Inconspicuous, even. But the feeling of being wanted and cherished is so foreign my throat clogs with an unnamed emotion.
I look down at her. She stands next to me in a beige sundress with cherries embroidered all over it. Little fruits are on every piece of her wardrobe. I’m always wondering which one I will see next, and look forward to each morning when I get to see them. Her hazel eyes shine with adoration as she looks up at me.
I want nothing more than to bend and kiss her soft lips before I breathe in her scent of sugarcane and flowers.
“Anton, Livia, we’ll eat in a few minutes. I need to speak with Vanessa.”
They’re occupied with fake-reading the book, not watching us, and I slide my hand into hers, linking our fingers together.
Without a word, I guide her to the office, leaving the door open in case Anton and Livia need us. It’s reckless, but I need her.
I whirl on her and frame her face into my hands, crashing my lips to hers in a devastating kiss. I haven’t kissed her in just overa month and the high brings me to my knees. I missed how she tastes, how she softens for me, how her body fits into mine.
It’s fast and all-consuming, shutting all doubts away and replacing them with images of her, with her taste and her scent.
She sighs into my mouth and my heart might burst out of my chest with how full of hope it is. Her hands explore my chest, stomach, and ribs with greedy attention before she settles them on my back, trying to get us closer. There isn’t an inch of space between us, but I can feel her desperation, her need. She’s my mirror.
Without opening my eyes or my hands leaving her body, I direct her against the wall, just behind the door, hidden from view, and drop to my knees.