Page 49 of Sweet Dreams
I stand and head to the window, drawing the curtain open. “The first time I broke into your house was shortly after I saw you. I laid in your bed, and all I could smell was you, Teagan. It sounds weird, but I think you were meant for me.” I take the chance and glance at her. Her face is still resting on her knees, but she’s watching me with tears streaming down her face.
“How many times have you broken into my house, Silas?”
“Three.”
She closes her eyes and nods. I can’t tell her the second time was the first time I slid my fingers inside of her; she can forever think it was a dream. I can’t ruin all of her trust in me, and I’m already a piece of shit; I can’t sink much lower.
“Say something, Dimples. Please.”
She reaches for her necklace, and my heart stutters. “Silas, I truly liked you, but I’m unsure if we can fix this. You destroyed all my trust in you. How do you expect me to ever believe you again? Do I want to know how you filled this necklace?”
“It was the night we slept together here before I left you the second time.” I reach for my necklace. “I always wanted you close to my heart, no matter where I went, and I wished to be next to yours, too.”
“I’m not sure about this anymore. I think you should go.”
And there it is. The words I’ve been dreading this entire conversation. “Please, Teagan, can we try to work this out?”
“I’m sorry, Silas, but I don’t think I can think right now. You’ve thrown so much at me, and I need time.”
I tuck my hand into my pocket, feeling like abeaten puppy. I realize I am to blame and understand the pain it has caused. It was a mistake on my part; I had hoped she would be understanding. Now that I think about it, why would she be? I stalked her, for Christ's sake and for what? It got us nowhere.
I walk toward her, kneeling in front of her. “No, Dimples. I’m sorry. My actions were thoughtless, and I see that now. I hope you can forgive me.” I lean up, kissing her forehead. “Take care, Teagan.”
I grab the mask and walk away for the third time. I feel like all I do is walk away from her. I head for my car, parked down the block. It doesn’t feel right to leave her alone after what happened today. I turn my car around and park outside her house; I don’t care if she calls the cops on my ass. No one is getting to her.
I don’t care what Leroy says; we need to fix Teagan's problem with Nancy. Grabbing my burner phone, I dial Leroy. And my call goes unanswered. Why am I not surprised. I’m tempted to do this by myself. I need to figure out who was involved with today's act and go from there. They all need to pay for what they did. I want my hands on Nancy’s Land Rover, not that it would matter; she’ll only go out and buy a new one. I need to hit her whereit hurts the most. Her reputation, someone in this town, has to have dirt on her. But the question is, who?
The other question is, who in this town will talk to me to try to knock that cunt off her throne. I’ve been an outcast since I moved here; no one has spoken to me. Then again, I didn’t go out of my way to talk to anyone either.
The only person I can think about is the shit goblin. Do I want to ask him? She’s probably already called him and told him what a horrible person I am. Now that I think about it, there is one other person.
And I don’t like it either.
I’m at a loss for words.
A double identity wasn’t what I expected to hear from Silas. I never kept secrets from him. He, on the other hand, kept a ton from me. I just wanted him to be honest with me, but he couldn't do that until he felt guilty. It makes me wonder if he did it because he felt bad for me or him. That guilty conscience finally caught up to him.
I’m left picking my broken heart up off the floor, wondering if I’ll be able to forgive him, maybe, eventually, but it will take me some time. I don’t think I’ll be able to fully trust him again. I’ll always believe in the depths of my soul that whatever he says is a lie. Thething about trust is once it’s broken, it’ll take time to heal, and even once it’s healed, you’ll never fully trust in that thing again. Because in the forefront, you’ll wonder if it’ll betray you again like it did in the past.
I head back into the kitchen, and the ribs that Silas was excited to have are still sitting on the counter. I open the container and toss it in the garbage. I won’t be able to eat them without picturing his stupid grin now. I place my food back in the fridge; my appetite is officially gone.
The silence of the house is tormenting me. I'm not feeling like being by myself, but I also don't want any company right now. It’s a vicious circle, one that I probably won’t break. I never told Jace about Silas; the only one who knew was Ivory. She told me he might be afraid to be judged for his past, but this isn’t about his past. This is a whole new ball game. He lied to me about a secret identity.
I walk around the house, checking every lock. I suddenly felt that familiar sense of paranoia creeping back in. I can't tell if it's because of Silas or the events of earlier today. I can only hope nothing else happens for the rest of the day.
I grab a thing of ice cream and a spoon and head to the bathroom. I could use some relaxation right now, and a nice hot bath sounds like the perfect wayto unwind without resorting to alcohol. Setting my ice cream on the counter, I turn the water on until it’s the right temperature and add the plug. I watch the water start to fill, wondering if I missed the signs when I was with Silas dressed up in the mask. He spoke to me, but I never picked up that it was him.
As I slip out of my clothes, I reach for my ice cream and spoon before settling into the tub. The hot water welcomes me as I sink in, allowing all my worries to melt away or at least try to melt away. The more I lay here, the more my mind wonders about every interaction. Nothing gave away that stalker boy, and Silas were the same person. Silas had a hint of woodsy scent, and the stalker boy wasn't into cologne.
Nothing adds up. He hid it so well.
I wake up in a drenched sweat; having a nightmare is not how I want to wake up for the day. It’s bad enough that I was in my shop yesterday during the ordeal, but now it’s haunting me. Even though I despise it, I need to inspect the shop and assess the extent of the damage. But the thought of goingalone spikes my blood. I can’t always rely on my parents, and I can’t bear seeing their faces when they see the damage—not knowing how excited they were when I opened it.
It's either Jace or Ivory. I know Jace is my best friend, but he has a life and a job, and I can’t keep relying on him. Ivory is too good-hearted to be placed in that situation, which would crush her to see everything. The only thing left is to bite the bullet and go alone; it’s my sole responsibility, and I should do it alone. I can’t always rely on other people.
When I step outside, I first notice an old, rusted minivan parked outside my place. As I get closer, I see Silas fast asleep in the driver's seat. Of course, he wouldn’t leave me alone. I didn’t ask for much, just space and he couldn’t even listen to that. As much as I want to bang on the window and scare him, I walk away. Who's to say he wouldn’t follow me if he were awake?
The walk to the shop feels different from any other time, and nothing brings me joy. I had a ton of ideas lined up for this month at the shop, but now they’ll never happen. Nancy stole my dreams yesterday; now I’m unsure what to do. As the shop draws nearer, my anxiety starts to creep up, and Ifind myself imagining the worst-case scenario so I won't be caught off guard.