Page 26 of Perfect Enough
“Right now?” I asked in shock.
Nodding, she replied, “Yes. There’s no time like the present.”
“Why is it so damn important for you to see me with a man?”
“Watch your tone with me, Sophia.”
“But why? Has it ever occurred to you that I might be happywithouta man? I know you can’t live that way, but I can!”
The moment the words were out of my mouth, I wanted to take them back. My mother’s eyes filled with tears.
She’d gone on one date already, and I’d judged her for it…but it wasn’t even a date, really. It was with my father’s best friend. He’d lost his wife a few years ago, and I knew there was nothing romantic between them. But even if therehadbeen, I had no right to judge two lonely souls.
“The loss of your father has impacted me more than you will ever know.”
“Mom—” I started, but she held up a hand.
“We all cope with things differently, Sophia. I was lonely for many monthsbeforeyour father died. He pushed me away, and I hate myself for not seeing how unhappy he truly was.” She let out a bitter laugh. “I won’t apologize for seeking comfort in David’s company. He’s a friend of mine, and he knows what I’m going through. The only man I ever loved chose to end his life, and he didn’t even bother to let me know why I wasn’t good enough for him to keep living for.”
“Oh, Mom, I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I don’t think anything is wrong with you spending time with David. I don’t.”
She wiped a tear away, sat up straighter, and smiled. “Now…are you going to call your young man or not?”
I blinked at her a few times. The change in topic was so sudden that it felt like my head was spinning. “Mom, you just changed the subject like we were talking about the weather.”
Drawing in a deep breath, she said, “Sophia, please, can we speak about something else other than your father? I just can’t right now.”
I nodded and opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. After a few moments, I said, “Josh is more a friend than anything. He knows I can’t give my heart to anyone…not yet.”
“You’re just friends? I thought you said you were dating him? Oh, I hope you’re not pushing him away because of Drake. Sweetheart, not all men are bad. There are a few good ones, and the longer you stay off the horse, the harder it will be to get back on.”
I screwed up my face at her analogy, considering Josh’s family owned a ranch. I wanted to tell her the truth. Tell her that Josh and I had never even met.
And I was about to…until she said, “You have to move past Drake and not be afraid to get back out there.”
“I’m not afraid to get back out there. And when I said we were friends, I simply meant we were friends before we started dating.”
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Is the sex good for you?”
“Mom!” I cried out. “Did you really just ask me that?”
Shrugging, she said, “I want to make sure you’re happy, sweetheart.”
“I am, Mom. I promise you.”
She stood and smiled. “Wonderful! I’ll let Lori know you’ll have an answer for her by this evening, after you call Josh and ask him.” Before I could speak, she walked out of my office and quietly shut the door.
I let out a long breath. It was clear that my mother was laser-focused on me, now that my father was gone.
Glancing at my phone, I pushed it away. I’d talk to Josh later.
Pacing back and forth in my living room, I wrung my hands together.
“Why did you lie?” Chloe asked, the hurt evident in her voice.
“I didn’t mean to lie to you, and I wasgoingto tell you. I just couldn’t find the right time to do it.”
“Um, a text that said something like, ‘Oh hey, by the way, I’m not dating Josh Shaw’ would’ve done it.”