Page 91 of Perfect Enough

“I’ve already spoken to your uncles about that. We have no intention of leaving her alone. She’ll have plenty of people to stay with her. Your mother thought maybe we should just pack up and stay at the house for a bit. I think that might be a good idea.”

All I could do was nod. We sat there for another ten minutes in silence before my father finally said, “We need to get ready for the memorial service.”

He stood, and I remained seated.

“Josh?”

“I talked to him not even an hour before it happened, Dad. He was fine. He was coming back from his daily walk, and he sounded great. We were going fishing, and he was going to meet Sophia. I wanted him to meet her…” I said, my voice cracking from holding back my tears.

He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “He would have adored her, Josh.”

I wiped angrily at a tear and stood. “I guess I’ll never know.”

Before I could walk off, my father took my arm and brought me to a stop. “I know how close you and your grandfather were, Josh. He loved every one of you kids, but I know you spoke with him every single day. You confided in him, and I love that you had a close relationship. But you and I both know he would want you to let go of this anger.”

I jerked my arm free. “Let it go? I can’t let it go. Granddad got to see everyone find love, get married and have kids. What about me and Nate? We won’t get to see his face when we tell him we’re getting married or having a child. We won’t ever see him holding our kids and loving them like he has everyone else’s. How is that fair?”

“Lifeisn’tfair, Josh.”

I pushed my father, causing him to stumble back. “How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true!” he shouted. “Do you think I’m not angry? That was myfather. The man I went to for everything my entire life. Do you think I don’t hate that he isn’t going to be here to see Rose’s baby next spring, or see you settled and having a family of your own? It fucking pisses me off to no end! But at the same time, I’m so thankful to have had him for as long as we have.”

Shaking my head, I turned away and asked brokenly, “Did he die alone?”

I hadn’t asked anyone about where Granddad was when he had the heart attack, and I hadn’t planned on asking…but now, the words just slipped out.

“No. He’d just come in from his walk and was in the kitchen making a snack. Mom heard a loud clatter and rushed in to find him on the floor. She called nine-one-one, but he was gone by the time they got there. Lincoln was visiting at the time, and she called Brock. Lincoln was doing CPR when he got there, and Brock took over. But…”

His words faded.

“If I’d been there, I might have been able to save him. Instead, I was trying to extinguish a fire some stupid kids started. I wasn’t there for him like I should have been.”

“Don’t do that, Josh. Don’t put that on yourself.” After a few more moments of silence, he cleared his throat. “Let’s go get ready for the memorial, son.”

Turning, I followed my father out of the barn and back to the house. I had hoped as the days went on, the heaviness in my chest would start to ease just a bit, but it only grew worse. Maybe after the memorial. Perhaps then, my heart wouldn’t feel so broken.

Chapter Twenty-One

SOPHIA

I paused when I stepped into Josh’s bedroom in his parents’ house. He was staring out the window.

“Need help with your tie?” I asked softly.

He turned and smiled slightly. It was the first smile I’d seen in the last few days. I’d stayed at Josh’s house while he stayed with his family. His mom, Kaylee, had also offered for me to stay, but it didn’t feel right. My mother had taken care of my classes, and I’d gone to the station to let them know what was happening and when the memorial would be for Ty Sr. Josh hadn’t taken any phone calls, not even from the guys at work. I’d asked Kaylee if I should go and fill them in, and she’d agreed that I should, grateful for the help.

Josh walked over to a mirror. “I hate ties.”

I smiled as I walked over and stood in front of him. “So did my father. I used to do all of his for him.”

He looked down at me, and I could practically feel the sadness flowing from him. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet him. He would have loved you.”

After straightening his tie, I patted his chest. “I’m sure I would have loved him as well. I’ve heard lots of stories the last few days.”

Josh smiled again, but it was forced. “Thank you for staying. I think I’ll go home tonight so we can be together.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying there alone. Although, it’s a little scary just because it’s so dark and quiet. I’m glad you showed me how to set the alarm.”