Page 92 of Perfect Enough
“Yeah, I’m ready to be back in my bed and out of my old high school room that I swear my mother has left as a shrine.”
I laughed lightly as I glanced around the room. When I looked back at Josh, the sadness had returned.
“We should probably head down now. I’m sure everyone is waiting on me and that’s why they sent you up here.”
“I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t true.”
Josh took my hand and we made our way back downstairs to meet his family. The memorial was being held in Hamilton at the community center founded by Josh’s uncle Brock.
Josh accepted a hug from his sister, and as we all walked toward the door, Kaylee took my hand and held me back.
“Sophia, sweetheart, I wanted to talk to you quickly.”
Glancing back to Josh, making his way out, I nodded and focused on his mother. Everyone in his family had been so kind to me, introducing themselves the night Ty passed. At first I’d felt like an outsider, intruding on an intensely personal moment, but that changed quickly when Kaylee and Lincoln both took charge of making me feel welcome. I would forever be grateful to them for that.
“Is everything okay, Mrs. Shaw?”
With a soft smile, she squeezed my hand. “Please call me Kaylee.”
I nodded.
Her eyes darted past me for the briefest of moments. “Over the last few days, you’ve seen how close the kids were with their grandfather. Nate and Josh, being the youngest, were bothexceptionally close to him. They spent a great deal of time with Ty Senior, and Josh spoke to him daily.”
“Yes, I knew even before all this that Josh was close with his grandfather. He spoke of him and Stella several times.”
Kaylee nodded and exhaled. “He’ll try to act like he’s okay, but I don’t think he’s handling this well. Call it a mother’s intuition.”
“What would you like me to do?”
“Let’s start walking out; they’re looking back at us.”
We both started to walk slowly, and I waited as Kaylee shut and locked the door.
“If he’s anything like his father, he’s going to push everyone away, just like Ty’s done in the past. I need you to not let him push you away for good. No matter what he says in the upcoming days or weeks, please donotgive up on him. Don’t let him take his frustrations out on you, but please don’t let him force you away.”
I was stunned by this revelation. I wanted to ask her why in the world she thought Josh would pushanyoneaway. He loved his family more than anything.
“Why would he do that?” I asked quietly as we drew closer to the cars. Josh glanced at me with his mother, and he smiled softly.
Kaylee took my hands and brought me to a stop once again. “He told his father earlier that he blames himself for not being here to save Ty. I’m just worried. His father was so much like him when he was younger, and I just don’t want you to be hurt if Josh should say something I know he’ll regret later.”
I shook my head. “Kaylee, I can’t imagine him ever saying a hurtful thing to me.”
She smiled, but it was barely there. “Just remember what I’m telling you, okay? Grief can make people do things they wouldn’t normally do.”
My father popped into my mind, and I nodded. “That, I have experience with.”
Kaylee looked intrigued, so I guessed Josh had never mentioned my father taking his own life.
Giving her hands a reassuring squeeze, I said, “I promise I won’t let him push me away.”
With a look of relief on her face, we started toward everyone. “Who’s going to drive with us?” Kaylee asked.
“I think Sophia and I will take my truck, if that’s okay with you, Mom?”
Kaylee placed her hand on Josh’s arm. “Of course it is.”
Josh opened the door to his truck for me, and I slipped in. He hugged his mother and sister and then joined me. The ride into town was quiet, and I let Josh be alone with his thoughts. I was intimately familiar with what he was going through, and sometimes, you needed silence to clear your head.