Page 70 of The Attack Zone
“I know I’m the new guy here but ...” Matti starts. I shoot him a glare, but he continues. “It kinda seems like you’re hiding from your feelings because you don’t think you deserve her.”
Who the fuck is this guy anyway?
“You’re right,” I say. “You are new here.”
“Mitch,” Caleb warns. “Don’t be like that.”
“You know he’s right,” Thomas says. “As long as I’ve known you, you’ve kept most people at arm’s length because I think deep down you don’t think you’re worthy of their love. Hell, you won’t even get a dog, when you love them more than anyone I know.”
“I just don’t like being a burden,” I say quietly. “And we both know I can’t handle a dog.”
“Wait a second. Is that what you think?” Caleb asks. “That you’re a burden?”
“You’re not with your wife right now because I’m such a mess that you felt like you needed to stage this intervention,” I say.
“My wife is currently beating up a two-hundred-pound heavy bag at the boxing gym, and I think we both know she can handle herself,” he says.
“And don’t change the subject,” Thomas adds.
I let out a sigh and take a sip of my coffee, willing this conversation to end.
“Let’s get to the point,” Matti says. “Why haven’t you asked Stacey to help you with a statement? Isn’t she great with this stuff?”
“I have to say something, don’t I?” I ask.
“Probably, yeah,” Thomas says.
“I think you should,” Caleb says. “Not just because it’spublic now, though. But because that post was way out of line. Someone needs to call it out.” He pauses for a moment before continuing, “I could say something on Instagram ... if you want?”
“What? No. No way,” I say. The comments alone on a post like that would make Caleb’s anxiety skyrocket. I can’t believe he’s even suggesting it. “This is my problem. I made the mistake, I should be the one to handle it.”
“Mistake? What mistake?” Matti asks.
“I should have waited until I got home to take my meds,” I say. “It was careless.”
“Nope. No. No way,” Thomas says with anger.
“What?” I ask.
“You are not making this into another thing you think you did wrong when you absolutely did not,” he says.
“But ...” I start.
“No,” Caleb says, more sharply than I thought he was capable of. “All you did was take a medication that helps your brain work better. Don’t give me that fucking bullshit.”
Thomas and I both stare at him. Because, well, I’ve never heard Caleb swear before. It’s just not something he does. He must be really angry about this post. Not just because it hurt me, but I think it hurt him too. His struggle with anxiety has been tough, and I’m sure he felt attacked by the post too, even if it wasn’t directly about him.
And that’s when I realize I have to say something. Not for the PR of the team. Not for the league. Not even for my career. There are people—kids—who are struggling right now who are going to see that post and wonder if people will judge them the same way for something they have no control over. It’s not just hurtful, it’s dangerous.
“I know what I want to do,” I say. I just have to figure out how to do it. And I have no idea where to start.
“Do you want me to call the marketing team? They can help put together a statement I bet.”
“I still don’t understand why you aren’t asking Stacey,” Matti says. “She could really help you here and you’re obviously in love with her.”
“I ...” I start. “That’s not the point.”
All three just stare at me for a moment, eyes blinking. Then Caleb lets out a long sigh. “It’s exactly the point,” he says. “If you love her, you have to talk to her.”