Page 20 of From the Ashes

I felt him tense next to me, but he didn’t answer. And that was answer enough.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, looking back down at him. “You know I’d never judge you for that.”

Charlie shook his head, his eyes glistening in the moonlight. He wanted to say something, I could see it in his eyes. But he just wouldn’t do it.

“What is it? What are you too afraid to say?” I was well aware that I was avoiding my own terrifying admission, but I needed the distraction. “You know you can tell me anything.”

It wasn’t just a statement, it was a plea. I wanted him to tell me whatever was on his mind. Because the more I stared at him, the more I began to hope that we were having the same thought.

“Fine,” I said, after a long pause. “I’ll go first.”

Summoning up all my courage, I reached out a shaky hand and wrapped it around the back of Charlie’s neck. He let out a gasp, but he didn’t pull away. The moment I touched him, goosebumps rose up under my fingers, spreading across his skin like wildfire.

“Charlie,” I said, biting my lower lip. “Will… will you be my first kiss?”

It wasn’t what I meant to say, and it wasn’t what Ishouldhave said. But, despite my cowardice, the look in his eyes told me that he understood my meaning. His right hand came up, his thumb brushing delicately over my cheek. He stared into my eyes long and hard, and I hoped he couldn’t read my thoughts. There were so many things I wanted to do with Charlie. Things that were much more involved andsexythan an innocent first kiss. I did my best to hide the years of pining coming to a head inside of me.

A million thoughts raced through my mind all at once, all of them tinged with regret that I had finally admitted my crush. Charlie didn’t want me. How could he? He was probably just trying to think of a nice way to let me down. That had to be it.

Then, with an almost imperceptible nod, Charlie leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine.

And my brain went silent.

Electricity filled my body, making me tingle from head to toe. My instincts took over as I kissed Charlie back, my grip on the back of his neck tightening. I found myself reaching out, a hand going under his shirt and touching warm, soft skin. I wanted everything he was comfortable sharing. We weren’t kids anymore and I knew what I wanted. Already I could feel my pants tightening as blood began to pool in my groin.

But Charlie kept his kiss soft, innocent, and sweet. He was slow and methodical, not just kissing me, but kissing mewell. I felt his tongue dance against my lips, and I opened up to him, letting him explore my mouth. It went on like that for what seemed like several minutes. When he finally pulled away, I was breathless, sweaty, and felt like I was on fire.

“I… I’ve wanted to do that since we were fourteen,” Charlie said at last, his voice soft and low.

“Why didn’t you?” I asked. “I would’ve let you.”

“I… I was scared.”

It was a simple explanation, but it made all the sense in the world. After all, that was why I’d never asked him to kiss me before tonight.

“I was too,” I admitted. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Charlie. Not ever.”

“Me either.” His thumb caressed my cheek again. “I’ve known you for most of my life at this point. I love you too much to lose you, Nix.”

“I love you too, buddy,” I said, pulling him into a hug before he saw my tears. “I’ll always be at your side, okay?”

Charlie nodded as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly against him. I was so happy, I thought I might die. Anddespite my tears and my joy, I still noticed that his jeans were also a bit stiff in the crotch as he held me against him.

“You’re gonna poke a hole in my shirt with that thing,” I chuckled, squeezing him tighter.

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I can’t help it when you’re touching me. It just… happens.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“Can we…” he started. “Can we take things slow, though?”

I pulled back, staring into those beautiful dark eyes of his. “We can go at whatever pace you want,” I said, meaning every word of it. I ran my fingers through his hair, savoring the ability to be intimate with him in small ways like that. “I want you to be comfortable. You are more important than my dick.”

He laughed at that. “Th-Thanks.”

I held his face in my hands. “But don’t make me waittoolong, okay?”

A crooked smile filled his face. “I won’t. Promise.”