Page 37 of From the Ashes

“I thought maybe you two could get together–”

“No,” I snapped, a bit more forcefully than I intended. Guilt clawed at my chest as I saw Mrs. McKean’s face fall. I took a breath. “I mean… no. I don’t want to see him. N-Not now. Not like this.”

“Honey… he’s not going to care about all that. I’m sure he misses you.”

“No,” I reiterated, keeping my voice even this time. “I don’t want that. I’m sure he doesn’t either.”

Mrs. McKean gave me a look that said, ‘the both of you are being fucking stupid’. But to her credit, those weren’t the words that came out of her mouth.

“If you say so, dear. But he’s only going to be in town for a couple of days. He’s not sure when just yet. I guess he’s on a book signing tour or something fancy like that. They gave him his own travel bus and everything! He said he’s coming to the west coast at some point and will stop by.”

Phoenix traveling around the country and signing books for his ravenous fans? It sounded like all his wildest dreams had come true. He was out of Creekside, immensely popular, and traveling everywhere without settling down. That was the Nix I knew, the same one that told me he hated Creekside and couldn’t wait to be free of it.

“I have a copy for you,” Mrs. McKean said, fishing around in her purse before pulling out a rumpled hardcover book. She put it in my hands before I could turn her down. “I figured you’d want one since he’s your bestfriend and all.”

I didn’t dare argue with her or tell her that Nix wasnotmy friend anymore.

“Thanks.”

She patted me on the arm. “It’s no problem, honey.” She turned back the direction we’d come. “I’ll leave you to your errands. But you should give that book a read.” I could see a glint in her eye that I couldn’t quite pin down. “I think you’d really like it.”

“Thanks.”

“Bye-bye!”

She waved a perfectly manicured hand and headed back toward the residential part of town. I glanced down at the book, turning it over and examining the baby blue cover. It had a half-naked man on the front, his thin shirt thrown wide by an invisible wind. Behind him were mountains and bright blue skies stretching as far as the eye could see. Text scrawled across the bottom of the cover in a loopy font.

Opalescent Dreams by Phoenix McKean

I scoffed and tucked the book into my hoodie pocket. I did not want to read about some sappy romance with people who were disgustingly happy all the time about everything. I avoided those channels and movies like the plague already. Even when they were breaking records and winning awards, I still wouldn’t watch them. How could anyone get behind such stupid, unrealistic plots? Perfect lives didn’t exist and not all problems could be fixed by a simple kiss. And I was tired of people pretending like love could save them from the horrors of life. It didn’t make things better, it just made everything more complicated.

With a sigh, I slipped my headphones back on and stuffed my hands in my pockets, heading for the bank.

The last thing in the world I wanted to do was read Phoenix McKean’s stupid love book.

CHAPTER 15

Phoenix

“Who should I make this out to?” I asked, pulling another copy of my book toward me.

“Miranda,” the woman replied in a soft voice.

I glanced up, noticing she was another middle-aged woman with graying hair and a demure presence. Just like all the others. No matter how many books I signed, I was always surprised that middle-aged straight women were my biggest fan group. There was something about gay men banging it out on a page that just really did it for them.

“Miranda,” I nodded and began to write.

“I really adored the love interest in this book,” she smiled. “Casey. He was so cute and shy. The way you wrote him was so realistic, it was almost like you were taking down a story instead of creating one out of thin air.”

“I’m glad you liked him,” I said, scrawling my signature across the bottom of the page hastily. “He was fun to write.”

“Is he based on someone you know?”

I looked up at her, surprised by the question. A part of me wanted to admit the truth to her. That Casey had been based on my best friend growing up and this book was my vain attempt at living out the life I knew I’d never have with him. I wanted to tell her all about those nights under the stars, the marshmallows, and the wildfire.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tony shoot me a look. Immediately I put my author hat back on and remembered what the legal department had told me.

“All the characters, settings, and interactions in the book are totally made up,” I said, handing her book back. “But to me they’ll always be real.”