Page 36 of From the Ashes

“Uh-huh.” I nodded along, knowing it was best to just let her run through whatever spiel she’d prepared for me. It wasn’t like I could stop her, anyway.

“I know I’m not your mother, but I think of you as a son.” She glanced up at me, giving me a warm smile. “I hope you know that.”

Another nod. “I do.”

“Are you getting along alright? Everything going okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“How's the job hunt?”

She’d been asking me that for years. For some reason, she was very intent on getting me out of the house, as if a daily trip into town to work at a job I hated would somehow cure all my anxiety in a heartbeat.

“I’ve picked up a few odd jobs here and there doing coding work. It’s enough to get by.”

“More indoor stuff?”

I nodded.

“Well, I suppose that’s good. It doesn’t help you get out and make friends though, does it?”

It wasn’t a question, but an observation. If Laura McKean wasn’t trying to get me a job, she was trying to get me to make friends. The amount of times she’d suggested a club, or the bowling league, or even the local knitter’s legion was ridiculous. Shereallywanted me tobe social. But I didn’t even like being social before the crash and I sure as hell didn’t want to do it now. I didn’t even want to talk toher. She wouldn’t hear of it though. My attempts to cut off the outside world might’ve worked on Ted and Phoenix, but they had absolutelyzeroeffect on Mrs. McKean.

“I’m happy with the way things are,” I said at last.

“Honey…” she said, looking up at me. “No offense, but you haven’t been happy since your… since she…”

She couldn’t say the words no matter how much she tried. Nobody could. Not to me anyway. And for that I was thankful. The crash was the last thing in the entire world I wanted to talk about.

“Anyway,” she continued. “I just worry about you. I want you to make friends and maybe even find love one day.” She glanced up at me again, a discerning look in her eye. “I can’t help but wonder if you and Patrick…”

“He’s just my landscaper,” I replied, shaking my head. “Nothing else.”

“Ah.”

Patrick was probably the closest thing to a friend I had in all the world. He came over weekly to care for the lawn and the plants around the house. At first, he was doing it because the McKeans had hired him while I was in the hospital. But once I got back, I found it sort of nice to have him around. In the years since high school, he’d come out to his family and skipped going to college to play football. Instead, he started working for his uncle’s landscaping company and eventually started his own. Once he got himself settled and figured out who he was, it was surprisingly easy to get along with him.

Of course, he was a bit louder and more boisterous than I’d like in a friend. Being an ex-football player had that effecton people. But he was kind and thoughtful of my needs. Unlike everyone else that thought I should justget overmy panic attacks, Patrick just allowed me to be who I was, anxiety and all. He didn’t treat me like I was faking it, but like I was just another normal person with a few minor eccentricities.

He was the only friend I had in the world anymore.

“I’ll confess, I don’t actually have any errands to run,” Mrs. McKean said as we started into the downtown area. “I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

I looked down at her, lifting an eyebrow.

“Nothing bad,” she said, patting my arm. “I just wanted to let you know that Phoenix is coming to visit.”

I stopped dead in my tracks, my stomach twisting into a tight knot.

“Nix is… cominghere?” I asked, my mouth hanging open. “To Creekside?”

“Of course!” She gave me a big wide smile. “I’m sure you heard about his book doing so well?”

Who the hell hadn’t? Phoenix McKean had been at the top of every bestseller list for weeks. He was a goddamnsensationsweeping the country. I’d already heard rumors about movie deals for his book. Hisromancebook.

I knew Nix liked love stories. He’d always been into those. But with the amount of daydreaming he did when we were kids about magic, dragons, and knights, I figured he would have written a fantasy book. Then again, he could’ve written a thriller or a mystery and I wouldn’t have been surprised either. Butromance? I never thought he’d actually finish one of those. They always seemed to give himthe most trouble.

Then again, six years could change a man. I had no idea who he was now or what kind of life he lived. He could walk into my living room and I might not even recognize him. My stomach twisted again at the thought of Nix standing in my living room. What would he say when he saw what I’d become?