Page 60 of From the Ashes

So, when I pulled into Charlie’s driveway without even saying hello to my parents first, I couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous. He hadn’t explainedwhyhe wanted to see me, just that he thought it would be nice to spend some time together. Naturally, my mind went absolutely buck wild with that, dreaming up a billion different scenarios for why he might be calling me back home. Maybe he wanted to tell me his story, tell me off, or tell me to go fuck myself. All three were distinct possibilities. His letters led me to believe it was a good reason, but my brain wasn’t fully convinced. There was still a lot of pain in my heart where Charlie was concerned, and I didn’t fully trust myself. I’d forced my way back into his life last time I was home when I knew he wanted space. Was he just writing letters to appease me?

I shook my head as I took my helmet off, combing my fingers through my hair nervously. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face him again. But now that I was here, there was little choice otherwise. Besides, I’d barely put my helmet down on my seat before I heard the front door open behind me.

“H-Hey Nix.”

It was a quiet and shaky hello. I turned back to return the greeting and fell silent, my jaw dropping. Charlie was…transformed. The last time I’d seen him it had either been at night or in a house so dim I could barely see his eyes. But now he stood in front of me in broad daylight and I truly saw him for the first time in years.

Time had done many things to Charlie Miller. He looked as if he hadn’t gained weight since he’d woken up in the hospital, although his cheeks were fuller now and his skin no longer had that sallow look to it. His jaw had filled out a lot, making him all sharp angles and high cheekbones. Scruffy dark beard clung to his face looking as if it had been recently manicured just for me. His hair was shorter now too. When he’d woken up, it was nearly down to his shoulders, but now it shaved short on the sides and quaffed up top in a way that would make Clark Kent look homely. His frame was still thin, and his muscles were wiry under his oversize t-shirt, giving him the look of a runner.

The only thing that hadn’t changed were those dark brown eyes. But the sadness I’d seen in them before lifted as soon as he saw me. It was replaced with a sparkle that I’d been missing for what felt like my entire life. He smiled as he stared at me, his hands stuffed into his jeans pockets in a shy gesture that I’d forgotten I knew so well.

All at once, I wasn’t scared anymore. If Charlie was smiling at me like that, everything was okay.

“Hey yourself,” I said, pulling off my gloves and placing themon my bike.

He stepped out of the house, his bare feet making no noise on the concrete sidewalk. The smile on his face never faltered as he came to a stop in front of me, his hands still in his pockets.

“You… look good,” I said at last, forcing myself to speak. “Happier, I guess.”

“I’m feeling better,” he nodded with a sigh, as if he’d been dying for someone to notice. “I’ve still got a long way to go, but it’s… better.”

I unzipped my leather jacket, pulling it off as the hot sun beat down on me. “What changed?”

Charlie’s eyes worked up and down my body, my sweaty shirt clinging to my skin. “I uh…” He paused, his gaze flicking up to mine. “I started talking to a friend again.”

I grinned, my body feeling so suddenly light that I thought I might float away. “OH? Someone I know?”

“It’s you, dummy,” he laughed, giving me a nudge.

I wanted to react more, but jumping up and clicking my heels together seemed like it would be a bit much. Instead, I just continued to smile, hoping he couldn’t hear my heart pounding in my chest. Because that’s all I could hear as the blood pumped through my ears.

“Why don’t you come inside? It’s hot as hell out here. Has been for like two weeks.”

“Okay.”

I followed him in, my eyes zeroing in on his butt as he led the way. It was easy to see that he was doing something to keep that ass tight. The moment the thought crossed my mind, I checked myself mentally. I’d been with the man for less than two minutes and I was already checking him out. What was wrong with me?

Six years of pent-up feelings was probably to blame. While I’d gone out into the world and found plenty of guys to have sex with, my attraction to them was nothing compared to Charlie. I’d wanted him that first night we kissed. And for years before that. I was surprised to find that my attraction to him had never waned. And now that he was smiling and looking more lively than ever, I couldn’t help feeling that familiar urge well up in the pit of my stomach again.

“Do you want anything to drink? I’ve got lemonade,” Charlie said as we stepped inside. “Fresh made.”

“Sure.”

I followed him to the kitchen, noticing all the changes to the inside of the house. Last time I was there, it looked just like I remembered it as a kid. It was like a dark and dusty museum. But now the windows were open and light filled the rooms. Quite a few of his mother’s decorations were gone and a couple pieces of furniture looked new. There was also the fact that the entire living room was covered in plastic, the trim was stripped away, and several buckets of paint sat beside a patch of wall covered in several swatches of color. One, a dark forest green, was circled on the wall.

“Doing some renovations?” I asked, trying to make conversation. I didn’t want to come out and grill him about why he wanted me to visit. At least not yet. “Or just painting?”

“Yes to both,” Charlie replied, fetching the pitcher from the fridge and glasses out of the cupboard. “I figured it was time to start making some changes around here.” He filled a glass and handed it to me, our fingers brushing against one another. “It… It’s time I stopped pretending this isMom’shouse and started treating it like my own.”

I stared at him, the glass stopped halfway to my mouth. “I’m proud of you,” I said at last. “I can’t imagine that was an easy decision to make.”

He nodded. “It wasn’t. But I figure it’s time, right? A friend said something to me a while back that really clicked and pushed me to start making some changes.”

“It wasn’t me, was it?”

He shook his head. “Nope.”

“Who?” I was surprised to hear Charlie had friends, but I wasn’t about to say that. “Do I know them?”