Page 68 of From the Ashes
My cock gave another twitch, the praise going straight to my groin. I panted against his chest, soaking the beauty of the moment in. There were several things I wanted to say, but one stuck out the most. He was so gentle and understanding with me, making me love him more than ever.
I bit my lip, wondering if I should tell him. Instead, I decided to kiss him again and again, showing my affection that way. We'd only just started, and I didn't want to push him too fast. Besides, we had all the time in the world. I was never going to leave his side again.
CHAPTER 29
Charlie
“You made all of these?” Nix asked, looking mightily impressed as he perused my shelf full of handmade obsidian arrowheads and blades. “All of them?”
“Yeah. It's kind of a hobby, I guess. Flint knapping… I don't know. It sort of helps me quiet my brain. When I'm working on the stone, the rest of my mind is silent. I can just…existinstead of being anxious.” I shook my head. “That probably sounds stupid…”
“It doesn't.” He picked up one of my larger obsidian blades. “I'm the same when I'm writing. I just plug in my headphones and get lost in my own story.” He held up the blade. “When did you get into this?”
“After I got home from the hospital.” I pulled my knees to my chest, feeling embarrassed about my reasons. “I… I missed that opal arrowhead you gave me. I thought I lost it. And then I remembered how much time we spent looking for all of those arrowheads and I just… missedyou.”
He gestured to the wall of projects I'd completed. “You missed methis much?”
I nodded. “Yeah… I guess so.”
Fuck I felt stupid. But the moment that smile filled his face, my insecurities left me. When he looked at me like that, I could think of nothing else but those green eyes and the way his lips felt against mine.
“Are you working on anything new?” I asked, changing the subject before I got too dewy eyed. “Another book, I mean.”
He heaved a great sigh. “I'm trying. The publisher wants another as soon as possible, but… I don't know. I'm just not feeling it.”
“Not feeling romantic anymore?” I teased.
He glanced down as his still half hard cock. He's been walking around the room totally naked this far. “What do you think?”
“Okay then,” I chuckled. “So, what's holding you back?”
“I think it's the pressure.”
I waited patiently for him to continue, giving him time to gather his thoughts.
“My very first book was an international best seller. I got an advance most people only dream of and royalties on the way. Everyone loves it and they want more from me. I want to give it to them. I really do… but…”
“But what?”
“What if it's not good?” he asked, his brows drawn together in concern. “What if I write another book and everyone is disappointed? What if they hate it? What if they sit in their houses and wonder how I ever pulled it off in the first place?” He was quiet for a moment. “What if they think I'm a fraud?”
“Do you really think they’re gonna publish it if it’s that bad?”
“I don’t know,” he grumbled, coming back to the bed and plopping down on the edge. “Sometimes I just wonder if I’m nothing more than a flash in the pan. Like if this is the only thing of value I’ll ever do and then I just have to spend the rest of my life doing…nothing.”
Considering I’d hoped he’d spend at least a bit of his life with me, that last word hit me hard. But I pushed it down, knowing that’s probably not how he meant it. At least I hoped he didn’t.
“I have faith in you,” I said, crawling over to him and wrapping my arms around his shoulders from behind. “You used to make up all sorts of wonderful stories when we were kids. I have no doubt you can do more.”
“I guess. But who knows if they’ll ever sell again.”
“Do you need them to?”
He looked up at me, his brows furrowed.
“You just sold a single book for half a million dollars. What do you need to sell another one for?”
“Boston isn’t a cheap place to live,” he sighed. “Nowhere is these days, but Boston especially. If I wanted to get a house there, it would probably cost me most of that just to get a decent one in the city. Maybe more.”