Page 87 of Shadow Kissed

I nod my head. I know he is right. When I first lost my dad. I thought I’d never crawl out of the pit of constant pain and loss, but slowly week by week, month by month, there were days when my chest didn’t ache as much and days where I smiled.

“How did he die, your brother?” I dare to ask. I expect him to shut down. To frown and tell me it's none of my business.

Raegal sighs and comes and takes the seat next to me, resting his arms on his thighs and looking out of the large arched window at the views across the valley. “He died because of my jealousy. He was always stronger and better than me and I was envious. No matter what I did, I was never as good as him. In my jealousy, I encouraged him to prove himself by slaying a beast from our realm known as a Somak. Before the war it had been a tradition for the eldest son to face a challenge alone and prove himself to be a man. I told him it would make Father proud of him. Later that day he went off on his own to try and kill a Somak, and it cost him his life. It is my fault he died. He never would have done it if I hadn’t dared him to and pushed him to prove himself.”

“You were a child,” I argue, and he shakes his head.

“I was old enough to know better. Every day I get to live, I remind myself that he doesn’t. His death tore my family apart. I know that every time my father looks at me, he blames me for the loss of his eldest son. His heir.”

I don’t know what possesses me, but I reach out and place my hand over his. He looks down at our hands and he turns his over and holds mine. We sit there in silence for a few seconds until he stands and, keeping my hand in his; he tugs me up.

“Let’s take you home.”

I blink and shake my head. “Wait? You’re taking me home? Right now?”

He smiles as he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me against the hard plains of his body. “No time like the present.”

“But don’t you have important commander things to do?” I ask him as his shadows whirl at our feet and creep up our bodies.

“I do,” he replies, with a nonchalant bob of his shoulders, “but nothing that can’t wait.”

I grip at the lapels of his tunic as darkness surrounds us. “Thank you, Raegal. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

My thoughts are conflicted. I should hate this man before me, but the more time I spend with him, the more I realise that there is so much more to him than the rumours of the cold and ruthless shadow lord. His shadows disperse as quickly as they came and when I look around us, I realise he has shadow weaved us to my home and we’re standing in the main room of the house. My eyes dart from one corner to another, taking in all the familiar things such as the empty amethyst crystal vase on the dining table and my mother's rocking chair by the fire.

Home.

I step out of his hold and find myself walking towards the front door where my mother's shawl hangs on a hook. I pick it upand bring it to my nose and inhale. Her familiar scent surrounds me and soothes the pain in my heart. Raegal remains quiet, allowing me to have this moment, and I am eternally grateful for it.

“Shall we see your brothers?”

I nod my head, a big smile breaking out on my face, and he responds with a smile of his own that has all other thoughts fleeing from my brain. I shake my head and reach for the front door. He comes up behind me, his hand on my lower back, and I don’t hate it. “Is there a back way we can go? It is probably better if nobody knows we are here. For safety reasons.”

He means the rebels. Raegal is here alone without his men, and he is concerned someone could try to take me. Guilt rushes through me. Here he is, giving me this chance to see my brothers, and I am working behind his back to support the rebels. I swallow and I gesture with a bob of my head for him to follow me. We move through the house and out of a door to the back that leads to my mother's workshop. I pause and glance across at the unlit building. It’s strange to think that she isn't in there working away. Raegal moves in front of me and opens the gate that leads us out behind my house to the narrow back alleyway that will lead us down to Arkynn’s home.

When we reach the back of Arkynn’s home, the chimney billows out smoke. Breela is likely inside cooking up a bountiful meal for them all. I glance over at the small wooden swing hanging from the large Shacia tree. I’d spent many hours in this garden as a young girl. That swing has both mine and Ark’s initials etched into the seat. I knock twice on the back door before reaching for the handle and letting myself in.

“Hello, anyone home?” I shout into the house as Raegal strides in behind me. I inhale the smell of home-cooked bread.

A head pops around the door frame into the next room.

“I thought I recognised that voice! Reya!” She comes bustling towards us, wiping her hands on her apron. Arms open, she embraces me into a warm hug. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”

I hug her back and grin. “Everything is fine. I was missing my brothers, so the Lord Commander agreed to a quick trip home to see them.”

Breela’s eyes fall behind me on the large male presence at my back. “Lord Commander, I hope you are well. The boys have just nipped to the bakery with Arik to fetch some cake. You must both sit and eat with us.”

“I’m going to decline your kind invite, Mrs Farsworn,” Raegal says, placing his hand on my back and urging me further into the house. “I’ll leave Eretreya in your safe care and return in two hours to escort her back to the valley. It would be better if no one knows we’re here.”

Breela nods her head at him. “Of course, it will be our little secret. The boys will be over the moon to see you, Reya. They are doing well, all things considered” Her face sobers. “Naturally, they have good days and bad days. Losing your mother and then having to say goodbye to you, well…it’s a lot of change for two young boys to handle.” She reaches out her hand and places it on Raegal’s arm. “Thank you for allowing her to call. I know it isn’t allowed.”

Raegal pops a shoulder. “Which is why it is best if no one knows outside of this family.” He turns his attention to me. “I’ll be back for you in a couple of hours. Promise me you’ll stay here and not venture into the village?”

I make a cross with my fingers over my heart. “I promise. I’ll stay here. Where will you go, though?” I ask him. If we weren’t to be seen, then where was he going to go for the next two hours?

I don’t miss the slight smirk he makes. “I’m sure I can entertain myself. You just enjoy yourself and I’ll be back for youlater.” He nods his head in farewell to Breela and then he is strides towards the door and back out into the back alleyway.

We both stare after him a for a beat.