Page 41 of Hey Girl
“Dude, wait until she hears ‘Hey Girl’. Jack shakes his head, his eyes darting around, wistfully. He has the nerve to sit parched, all relaxed on a concert box with his arms crossed while I pace back and forth like a confused chicken. “I can’t wait to get the crowd’s response to it, too,” he adds. He always gets a hard-on when we have a new song to debut. If the crowd shits their pants over it, we’ll consider recording it. I’m not seeing that happen though, as it’s definitely a far cry from our usual sound.
I give a nod, and look around at my surroundings as I continue to pace, hoping it will get me out of my head - a place I don’t normally spend a lot of time in because, holy shit, it is way too freaky in there.
Stage techs zip past me left and right, patching in cords to amps and sound boards, while others test the different filtered spotlights. It’s the 200th anniversary of the St. Michelle theater and the seats are already packed as Jack and I engage in our routine pre-show chill. Normally we’d be doing that in the dressing room but I’m pretty sure Matt is in there giving Josh histhirty-seventh come to Jesus talk about his back room, groupie- and alcohol-fueled-shenanigans. That rascal.
It’s getting closer to showtime. Nothing is actually happening, but I can feel the shift in the energy, I always can. And then the lights from the end of the corridor are partially blocked by Mayzie with someone else.
Long waves of tawny hair with streaks of platinum and are styled in a way that covers half her face. Mayzie whispers something in the girl’s ear, a look of excited mischief on her face, before the girl lifts her chin and gives it a gentle flick to the side, softly tossing the long, wavy hair out of her face to reveal striking green eyes that flash at me from behind fluttery black lashes instead of a pair of glasses.
Holy fuck, it’s Rebecca.
When our eyes lock, her eyebrows go up along with the corners of her mouth. Her smile is nervous as hell but excited. I rush to grab her up in my arms. Holding her close and lifting her off her feet, I’m delighted to find that while she’s been made over nine ways of Sunday, she still smells the same: like a spring garden after a soft rain.
Shut up, that’s what she smells like.
I set her down almost as quickly as I scooped her up so that I can stand back and get a better look at her, but keep a tight hold on her hand.
“Ho- ho - hooo…” - I’m not calling her a ho or imitating Santa Claus, I swear to God, I just… words…
“Welcome to my world,” she quips softly, smiling and shyly looking at the floor before looking back up at me, as if she inwardly nudged herself to.
“Ho. Lee. Fuuuuuck,” I finally exclaim, looking from her spikey heels up to her black lace top.
I take her hand and slowly guide her to twirl so I can scope out the full package. Fuck, she’s even wearing some edgy jewelry.
I can feel myself shifting to a different persona. It’s still me, but it’s as if a new level has been magically added on to the imaginary house inside me and I’ve just stepped inside the new room. I’m now in a place where I talk and act like a normal, fucking grown man who’s smitten by a beautiful girl.
“You look breathtaking, Mouse,” I breathe out as my eyes continue to pan up and down before landing on those eyes.
Rebecca
Out of nowhere,his face seems to fall.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m amazing,” he shakes his head, his eyes darting up to mine. “You’re amazing. I just hope you didn’t do this because you felt like you had to. You don’t have to change for me, you know that, right?”
My heart tightens and seems to stop for just a missed beat before I swallow and nod up at him. “I know. I like the way I look right now,” I explain, lifting a shoulder because I don’t even know how to make it make sense.
“I do too, don’t get it wrong, lovely. I’m blown away.”
“So am I.” I grin and lift an eyebrow. “I mean, going into tonight, I felt … inadequate, like I didn’t belong in my own skin. So when Mayzie offered to help me get ready, I thought it mighthelp and my goal was just to look nice. But then she brought in Enrique and -”
“Oh dear God!” He freaks, cutting me off. He pulls me in, cradling my head. “Tell me she did not show you Enrique! You poor thing! I’m going to have a serious talk with Maze -”
“No!” I pull away and protest. “I mean, yeah he was a shock at first, but he…” I shake my head, looking for the words, but there are none to describe what Enrique did for me. “He changed the way I see myself. I feel so… strong. Like for once I’m bold, confident, and feel like I belong in this body and on this planet. And while I’m still a ways off, I feel like I could one day not give a f-fuck what people think about me. I still need work, but the difference is—now I think it’s actually possible.”
Chris drops his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. He looks as if someone took a heavy weight off his chest and he’s feeling the relief. So he surprises me when he says, “I’m so fucking happy. I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be the one to do that for you.”
“What?” I feel my own breath shiver in my chest. “Babe, you did so much more.”
“I’ve helped you here and there, but -”
“You made me want to,” I point out with a firmness I didn’t know I was capable of. “You’re my whole reason for wanting to. And the truth is, I’m still scared sh-shitless. But you make me feel safe enough to try.”
He rests his forehead against mine again and squeezes both of my hands. He’s quiet, and while that makes part of me nervous, another part of me is thinking it’s okay; that maybe I’m just doing the opposite for him that he’s done for me.
“You’re all I think about,” he finally says. “And now getting to sleep at night is going to be extra hard.”