Page 19 of Almost
And she does. She really does because I know how it feels to have secrets kept from you.
Sebastian turns away to grab the railing, his entire body coiled with tension. “Don’t tell me what she deserves. I know she deserves better than me. I know I’m the world’s biggest asshole because I should be in there with her, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking how there are parts of you left all over this fucking house, but I can’t seem to sell it.”
No.
He doesn’t get to say shit like that and expect everything to be fine. It feels like he’s reaching into my chest and pulling my heart out again, just because he can. Eric and I decided to try again, and I’m excited. But here Sebastian is, getting the hint that I can be happy without him, and it’s driven him to tell me that he can’t stop thinking about me.
Bash walked away from me.
It wasn’t the other way around.
My temper spikes, rearing its ugly head and the truth.
“Then fucking burn it! You and I aren’t the same people as when we lived in this house. I don’t even recognize you anymore. Tonight hasn’t been easy for me, but I’m not acting like a jealous asshole.” I can’t help laughing because I’m done being dragged into his messes. I’m photographing his wedding. I came to this stupid dinner. What more does he want from me? “You are getting married. Figure your shit out and please for all of our sake’s, stop dragging me into it. I’m done with the games. If you really need the reminder, I sat in that living room and begged you to talk to me. You are the one who told me to leave.”
“I didn’t expect you to listen! I thought you would fight for us!”
Bash stares at me and it reminds me so much of the guy I used to know and love. My heart aches because I hate what we’ve become. I miss the Sebastian who would kiss the top of my head because he felt like it, the one who would buy me flowers, the one who gave me the necklace I can’t bring myself to get rid of. The one I probably still love because that kind of love isn’t something that just turns off and disappears. I’m not dumb. I know that he is probably the great love of my life, but that doesn’t mean we’re right for each other.
“Don’t do this, Bash,” I whisper as he steps closer to stand right in front of me. The familiar smell of his cologne is intoxicating, and I can’t think straight.
“I wanted to marry you, Thalia. I was so in love with you that it hurt when I wasn’t with you. I thought you were it for me, and I’m very aware we’re not the same people. Hell, I don’t even recognize myself some days. You said no and I’ve accepted that, but I think there’s a part of me that will always love you.” I don’t think Sebastian has realized that he’s right in front of me now, having let go of the railing and erasing the distance between us. I feel like I can’t breathe.
So before I can open my heart to Sebastian fucking Walker who only ever ruins me, I punch him. “I didn’t say no, Sebastian. I saidnot right now. It’s not my fault you couldn’t give me some time to catch up to where you were, but it’s a really low fucking blow giving Kiera the same ring you tried to give to me.” There. I finally said it. I’ve held it in for months, but I’ve finally said it.
I recognized it the second I saw it on Kiera’s finger at Mimi’s funeral. What kind of guy does that? Proposes to another girl with the same ring? It’s not like he’s hurting for money so maybe it’s some power trip where he gets off on hurting me. Once upon a time, I think Sebastian would have rather cut off his own arm than hurt me, but I guess that’s another way we’re different from who we used to be.
My hand is throbbing and I walk away from him, trying to keep my tears from spilling over. Kiera’s watching from the French doors that lead inside. “He’s going to need ice,” I say tiredly, shaking my hand out. I am emotionally drained from that taxing interaction.
Kiera doesn’t say anything, simply staring at me in shock.
Eric is quick to get to his feet, and Blake takes one look at my hand I’m holding, but I don’t understand the triumphant glimmer in her amber eyes. “Owen, I told you she’d hit him during dinner,” she muses, and I should be surprised they bet on it, but I’m really not.
He rubs his face, groaning and I’m not in the mood to get a lecture. “Really, Lia?”
“He deserved it, I swear,” I spit out at him, and Owen’s face warps into confusion.
“English.”
I wave him off, feeling my adrenaline start to subside as panic works its way to the surface. I make the conscious effort to switch back, but if Sebastian still wants to marry Kiera, that conversation could not have happened in English. “Sorry. The asshole deserved it.”
“Well, yeah. Bash has had it coming for a while. I bet you wouldn’t hit him until after dessert, and Blake correctly bet during dinner.”
I ignore Owen’s complaining about the timing of the punch because I can’t stop repeating Sebastian’s words in my head. Eric hovers as I crouch down to kiss Zeus on the nose. “Be a good boy, bubba. I promise I’ll see you soon; I even have a big yard for you too.”
He licks my face, wagging his tail excitedly, and I walk out with Eric’s arm draped across my back. I don’t ever want to come back to this house.
~
“I thought you were kidding when you said you punched him.” Penelope laughs softly, and I don’t love that punchingSebastian is how I reacted. I’m still really mad at him, but hisfiancéewas literally watching us from the window as he told me he doesn’t know how to stop loving me. Kiera is wearing the engagement ring he proposed to me with, and he has the nerve to pull that shit? I roll my eyes as I continue cutting through the description tabs for all the portraits now that they’re all hanging up exactly where I want them.
“I didn’t realize you thought I was kidding. Is there a reason we’re bringing this back up?”
She shoves her phone in my face, catching me off guard at the sudden movement until I can focus on the article questioning why Sebastian Walker, star quarterback for the Carolina Panthers, is rocking a black eye. “You got him good,” she muses proudly, but again, I’m not proud of what I did.
I give her a grim look. “Of course I did, but I shouldn’t have hit him even if he deserved it.”
“Are you going to tell me what he said that caused you to punch him?”