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“Nope,” I answer quickly, looking back down at what I’m working on before I cut a finger off. It’s been three days since that dreadful dinner and I’ve been avoiding talking about it with anyone. It feels vaguely familiar to a few months ago after Mimi’s funeral when everyone wanted to know why I hit him then. Fuck, maybe I need to keep my hands in my pockets around him from now on, or I could superglue his mouth shut. “Before I forget to tell you, I’ll be out of town the next few days.”

“Where are you running away to this time?”

I shoot her a quick glare because I don’t love the assumption. I’m not running away, but she won’t believe me if I tell her that. “Colorado.”

“Lia, tell me what happened at that dinner.”

“No.”

Penelope sighs at my stubborn refusal, and I can’t really blame her. I don’t often keep things from her. When I do, it’s a pretty safe bet that it’s Sebastian Walker related.

“Are you going to come back?” Penelope asks seriously, the jovial tone from when she showed me the article gone. It’s my turn to look confused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Thalia, your immediate reaction when anything happens with Sebastian is to run away. After you guys broke up, I don’t think you stayed anywhere longer than a few months, and that went on for nearly three years. So, what I’m wondering is whether this is going to be like last time, or will you come back when you’re supposed to?”

“First of all, ouch. Secondly, no; this isn’t like last time,” I reply as my hands start to shake. I pull them into my lap to hide them from Penelope. “I’m going to come back. This is just for a job.”

It’d be so tempting not to come back.

Penelope is staring at me and her mouth flattens. “I hope it is. It’s convenient timing, but I’m not going to try to keep you from going. When you’re ready to talk about that dinner, I’m here to listen.”

I’m probably going to take that conversation to the grave with me.

“I’m going out with Eric tonight for drinks. I don’t know if I’ll be home, but I’ll be sure to check in with you before my flight tomorrow,” I say, completely changing the subject. I don’t want to talk about Sebastian Walker anymore.

“I like Eric. He’s a nice guy,” Penelope says, but I don’t miss the worry in her blue eyes despite the smile on her face.

Eric is a nice guy. He’s honest with me, he’s good looking, and has a steady job. We don’t fight, and right now, that’s really appealing to me. Sure, I can admit that everything isn’t as passionate and all consuming like everything between me and Bash was, but I don’t need that. I need someone who is going to treat me like I deserve to be treated.

“Yeah. Eric is a nice guy,” I agree after a moment.

Penelope hesitates, which is unlike her completely. “Lia, are you still in love with him?”

I know exactly who she’s referring to. I don’t want to answer her question because the truth is I don’t know. I want to hate him. I don’t want to love him. We weren’t perfect together, but I miss him.

That’s the ugly truth I’ve been holding onto: I miss Sebastian.

It’s exactly what I went to Mimi’s funeral intending to say to him.

And then just like it does every time, we fell apart.

I don’t want to think about that conversation on the deck because it is tempting to let that hope in—the hope that maybe he doesn’t have to be erased from my life. All that dinner solidified was how easy it is for me to fall into old habits with him. I don’t know if it was being in that house, or something else, but it scared me.

The look on Kiera’s face when I came back in told me that she’s finally starting to understand there’s more to me and Sebastian than whatever he’s told her.

The Sebastian that holds a piece of my heart no longer exists.

Fifty-six days.

CHAPTER NINE

Sebastian

I’M HOLDING AN ice pack to my eye to try to get the swelling to go down as Kiera fusses over me. From my good eye, I can see Blake glaring at me. Owen stands up, grabbing their jackets, making the executive decision to leave this nightmare. I wish I could flee too. “Well this has been fun, but I think I’m going to go see if my sister is okay. Thanks for having us. Dinner was great.”

Kiera frowns, but doesn’t try to convince them to stay. Her hands are visibly shaking, and I can feel all of the burning questions they have. “I’m sorry. I can pack up some food for you if you want?”