Page 22 of Almost

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Kiera has been ignoring me since our fight after the dinner. That was four days ago. I know it’s deserved because I was an asshole—actually, maybe I just am an asshole.

It hasn’t helped her best friend, Nina, has come up for a few days, meaning we haven’t had an opportunity to talk. I’d be stupid to think it’s not a coincidence that Nina’s here now. She’s never liked me.

I’ve kept busy with workouts, and then some shoe endorsement deal. The shiner Thalia gave me is refusing to go away. The swelling has gone down, but the bruising appears to be lingering.

Kiera and Nina are in the library, flipping through the wedding binder. I catch something about flowers, but they stop talking when I knock on the door frame to get their attention. I feel relief when Kiera continues smiling as she looks up at me.

I smile faintly back at her, but I don’t miss how Nina glares at me. “Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?”

She nods, getting up to follow me into the hallway. “What’s up?”

“I’m going to go stay at my grandparent’s house for a few days. Go visit Mimi, and get some repairs started around the house.” I need an escape where my mistakes aren’t constantly hanging over my head like a guillotine.

“I think a few days apart would be good for us,” Kiera says slowly.

I wish I could kiss her and tell her that everything is going to be fine, but the truth is, I need to figure my shit out.

I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, but I can’t deny seeing Thalia and Eric has thrown me into a tailspin. I shouldn’t be jealous of them, except I am. None of it makes sense to me.

“I’m sorry, Kiera.”

She chews her bottom lip, crossing her arms over her chest uncertainly. “I’m sorry too. I feel like an oblivious foolfor inviting Thalia here since there’s clearly more to the story than you’ve shared, but I don’t even know how to ask you about it because I don’t think you would even tell me!” She inhales sharply, her pale eyes piercing right through me. “Seb, you need to decide what’s really important to you, and I don’t want you to come back until you know.”

The ring on her fingers glimmers, and I hate that the sight of it makes me nauseous. Thalia didn’t say no; she said not yet. If I had listened to what she actually said instead of how I took it, would Lia be the one standing in front of me right now?

“I love you,” I whisper, wondering who I’m trying to convince as I say it.

“I love you too,” Kiera says quietly, before walking away from me, shutting the door behind her.

Zeus follows dutifully behind me, jumping into the back seat of my Range Rover as I set my packed bag into the trunk. I’m doing the right thing by taking a few days. Everything will be fine after I set my head straight.

The drive to Greensboro feels much quicker than normal. Before I know it, I’m pulling into the driveway of my childhood home I inherited when Mimi passed last October. I’m starting to think I’m becoming a hoarder because I can’t get rid of anything.

Realistically, I should consider selling this house because I’m never here unless it’s for a few days around a holiday, or if I’m going to the Lewis’s. There’s a cleaning lady who comes by every few weeks to keep the house in order, and I pay a neighborhood kid to mow the grass for me. I don’t think I would be able to actually follow through with listing it.

There are so many good memories here from when I was a kid. Getting rid of it feels like erasing those.

It’s a similar dilemma to the house in Charlotte; I can’t part with it.

Shit, maybe I really am becoming a hoarder.

Zeus is busy checking out every corner of the house for new smells as I shut my phone off, tossing it onto the kitchen counter trying not to think about everything going wrong in my life. All of it ties back to Thalia Lewis.

I slip into my running shoes, because it seems to help me clear my head better than anything else I’ve tried.

I wish I could try to work through it with my best friend, but I can’t talk to Owen. He’s made it clear that he wants me to leave Thalia alone, and things are tense between us. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t also hit me after Thalia did.

I’m dripping in sweat and out of breath by the time I make it to Mimi’s tombstone. She’d know exactly what to say to me right now about the mess I’ve gotten myself into. Her gravestone is next to Grandpa’s so they could still be together. It’s inscribed with her real name: Mirabelle.Mirabelle and Alexander.They were so great together. My parents are buried on the other side of Grandpa.

My entire family is here.

I sit down between the stones, breathing heavily. I’d give anything to talk to any of them again. To have a memory of my parents that doesn’t feel like something I’ve made up. I want to ask Grandpa if he always knew whether Mimi was the right person for him, and to be able to ask Mimi what she meant when she said that only I could make the decision if Kiera and I were meant to be together.

There are so many things I wish I could ask her. Unfortunately, the questions I need answered most are only answerable by me.

If I’d just listened to Thalia—no. There’s no point in even going there. It’s been too long. Thalia and I don’t work. I’m fucking engaged to Kiera.