Page 16 of Master B-0361

Throughout my life, I had feared many things. Heights. Bees. All bugs, really. Monsters under the bed. Never once did I ever imagine that I’d be a captive inside my own body.

Maggie-Lynn…

Those words were all it took for me to shut down. I had collapsed right there in my Master’s arms, and there was nothing I could do about it. I screamed. I begged. I fought with everything I had. He never heard or felt anything. I didn’t move or so much as make a sound. I could feel the tears leaving me, but other than that, it was like I didn’t exist. I had a body, but it didn’t belong to me. It belonged to him, and he was in control of it as he laid me on his bed.

“Maggie, we keep doing this. How many times are you not going to listen to me? How many times are you going to run?”

Sebastian shrugged off his suit jacket, loosening his tie as he took me in. He didn’t look okay. He was covered in sweat, and his face was still tinted with red from the anger he’d displayed not moments ago. He gave a hard jerk, throwing the tie on the floor as he unbuttoned his vest.

“I don’t know why I assumed you had learned. You never learn. You’re too stubborn to follow rules, but I’m going to teach them to you one more time.”

He let the vest fall to the floor, going to the button at the base of his throat. As he began to work them free, I could hear my screams growing louder in my mind. I tried fighting to get my arms to move. A finger. Anything.

“Margaret. Maggie. Maggie. Margaret.” His head tilted as he gazed at my face. “The structure. I just don’t…know. I mean, maybe. It truly doesn’t matter. You could be her twin and it would change nothing. You’re still breaking the rules.”

Sebastian jerked his shirt free from his pants, finishing unbuttoning it. When he opened it and threw it down, I could see how hard is cock was through his pants. I hated how his hunger brought my body to life. He didn’t even have to touch me for me to react. My body was responding, even if I couldn’t, and it was all my fault. It was me. Trauma was my life. Taboo shit was just…a lure to me. Sure, I knew it was wrong what was happening. Even being here was sick. But I was far from good. Far from a virgin. I’d done things just to try them. I’d experimented with myself and with others just for the pleasure of it. Toys. Orgies. Threesomes with men and women. I wasn’t new to sex. But this…this I didn’t know. That didn’t stop the part of my mind that loved everything that was fucked up with it. I was a magnet for masochism. A goddamn feen for a good fuck. I liked older men, and I liked them with power. This one wanted me dead, there was no doubt about it. If I wanted to live, I would need to figure how he could have both. I hated that. I hated that my mindset was so watered-down and accepting of this.Accepting of him.My choices were limited, but my attitude was strong. If I ever got out of this state,he’d see. I’d convince him I was a good fit for him. I didn’t have a choice.

Clinking from his belt sounded, and I closed my eyes as I tried to calm the anxiety that kept leaving me panicked. He could kill me right here and now. He could do it with how mad he’d been at me leaving. He was worried about me getting hurt. Touched.

My brain was on overdrive as it raced.

That sort of emotion didn’t just come from nowhere. If he was worried or angry, it was important to him. My…safety and wellbeing was important.

“You are not allowed to close your eyes to me.”

The bed shifted and fingers pressed into my face. I opened my lids at the surprise, narrowing them just the smallest amount through that power. It had him waiting for my reaction. Waiting for compliance. Slowly, I closed my lids.

“Maggie. I’m not playing with you. Open your eyes.”

I wouldn’t. I refused.

“Maggie.” A pause. “Fine. Pout. You won’t be soon.”

My body was lifted, and I kept my lids closed as he pulled the dress over my head. I could hardly keep them closed. Barely open them if I wanted. Nothing was working right on me, only causing the anxiety to spike once again.

The darkness was terrifying. The thought that my lids wouldn’t open ever again and that I’d be trapped in this shell almost had my eyes shooting open. I didn’t. I tried to keep my breaths slow as my bra was unhooked and my panties were removed, but even my breathing didn’t feel completely in my control.

“If you think playing dead is going to save you,” he laughed, “you have another thing coming. Dead is the goal, baby. Dead is what you are.”

My lids did open then, but only long enough for me to over-exaggeratively roll my eyes at him. The split second of shockI saw on his face quickly turned to anger as he growled and cupped to the side of my neck.

“Just like her. Dramatic little shit. Open your damn eyes.”

I obeyed, only to roll them again. There had been some expression I couldn’t quite place as he stared down at me. Intrigue? Some twisted fucked-up version of hope?

Why did that hurt me? Why did I even care that this man was so broken that he’d gotten to this point? Why? Because I’d been broken too. By my molesting stepfather at the age of eleven, no less. But it didn’t end there. Far from it. All I knew was self-destruction. If I was going to be hurt, wasn’t it best coming from me? I could control that, and maybe even right now, facing death, I welcomed it.

“Keep giving me attitude. We’ll see how long it lasts.”

Pressure eased my legs apart. Where I couldn’t move them, I could sure feel the sensations of his fingers as he began to trace up one of my thighs. Craving and pleasure were immediate. The internal begging took over. Where half my brain was pissed and shouting ‘no’, the other half was home. And not with the rape. I knew that well. It was the mindset. The accepting, where I shouldn’t. If I accepted, it wasn’t real. It was a choice. It was mine. I clung to that view with everything I had. To view it any other way would have brought a terror I couldn’t live with. It would put me back as a victim, and I didn’t choose that. Not Sebastian. Not my stepfather. Even if a victim was exactly what I was.

“Fuck, you’re so wet. Like…really, really wet.”

Was that surprise in his voice?

Pressure from his fingers tugged at the side of my folds, separating me, but he didn’t touch my pussy. He kept moving closer. Rotating his fingers in circles, but never quite hitting the spot I wanted him to. If I could have moaned, I would have. Hell,I would have done a lot more. Arched my back. Begged like a little slut for his fingers. Fuck…for anything.

“Maggie.” I stayed in the darkness. “Margaret.”