Page 22 of Master B-0361

“Because I’m not her.”

I paused, hating the twisting in my chest.

“Because I’m the Master, and I make the rules.”

She jerked her wrist free, stepping into the water and dismissing me as if it were the easiest thing in the world. More sobs left her, but she didn’t even give me the satisfaction of glaring or blaming her tears on me. I was dead to her, just as I had wanted her dead to me. I didn’t like it.

“You need to wash your hair.”

“I’m working on it,Master.”

“How, when you’re not even facing the right way? You’re just standing in the stream. Turn,” I said, turning her, myself. “See. You have to get your hair wet to wash it.”

“If I have to wash it it’s your fault.”

More lip quivering. Another sob as her eyes jerked back and forth with wildness. Had I been in my right mind, maybe I would have seen from the beginning that she was in shock. It didn’t register until I took in how the black of her pupil dominated her eyes. It was in the slight twitching of her body. In the emotions she couldn’t control.

Son of a bitch. Yeah…that was me.

“Here.” I grabbed the shampoo, pulling her from the water. I poured the white liquid into my palm, lathering her long hair. The moment I cupped the sides of her head with my hands, she threw herself into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. The contact was so unexpected. Her cries were…familiar to me. Almost like the cries Maggie had made when she broke off our engagement. But Margaret wasn’t leaving me like Maggie had. She was holding to me like she’d fall through the floor at anymoment if she let go. “Stop. You’re fine. You’re—” I tried to break her grasp, but the soap made it impossibly slippery. “Hey.”

Her eyes lifted, but her hold didn’t loosen.

“You’re okay.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t, but you are. You’re okay right now.”

“Yes.”

But she wasn’t coherent. She wasn’t okay. And me…I was even fucking worse. I liked her arms around me. I liked her desperation, and the way she clung to me as if I wasn’t the one who fucked her up to begin with. It wouldn’t be like this once her mind cleared. Things would change, and I had to be prepared for anything. She could shut down for good, or she could revolt. She might do both.

b0842

Ithought I needed time. I’d always been one to bounce back quickly. After all, I’d hit the ground so many times throughout my life, picking myself up wasn’t much of a chore anymore. My stepfather ruined me and my mother. He beat the hell out of her every chance he got. Then, it was me. Both of us off and on. He’d destroyed me at eleven. Called me every name in the book by the time I graduated high school. Had it not been for all my hard work and dedication to softball, I might not have made it out of that town. But I did, and my scholarship didn’t just take me miles away, it brought me states away from the nightmare I called home.

Where I thought my life was finally going to get better, the first party I went out to destroyed that. I escaped my stepfather’s grabby, overpowering advances, but I wasn’t a match for alcohol. I never drank. I didn’t know what to expect. That landed me naked in a back room, raped by two men I didn’t know. It wasn’t how I wanted to lose my virginity. I sunk low. So fucking low, not even a year of university therapy could come close to scratching the surface of the hate or anger I harbored.

I went wild. I did things I didn’t want to remember. I did things Icouldn’tremember. But I didn’t lose sight of why I wasthere or the opportunity I’d been given. School and my future were the only things I looked forward to…until I was kidnapped and brought here. That should have taken the cake of horrors I faced. It didn’t. Or maybe it was just all catching up with me.

One night of no control. One night as a shell of a person for my Master.It fucking decimated me.And although scary, it wasn’t being in that state that did it. It was being forgotten. Disregarded with no control to save myself. Even him leaving this place for three days did nothing to help me get out of this funk. If anything, it had the opposite effect, which made no sense. But now he was back earlier than his original week he’d told me he’d be gone for, and his problems seemed worse. Call after call. Hour after hour. I saw as he tried to move in to watch my show with me. He kept busy, and although I secretly watched his every move, I kept silent.

“Maybe you should have come home while I was there. No. We could have talked then. I know you were working. I was too. I still would have made time.Hale. I don’t care what you want. Absolutely not. God, do you even fucking hear yourself right now? Are you sure you went to Mistress Two?” He paused. “And she fixed you? She got rid of Elec’s brainwashing?”

I stole glances, pretending to stay glued to the television as my Master paced. The newest episode of ‘Pieces’ was starting, but after hours of watching, I was going crazy. I didn’t care which slave died or which Master or Mistress was the killer. Not when I could feel my own Master stare suddenly on me as he went back and forth. I couldn’t focus. How would it be when he finally did have time to talk to me?

“Could have fooled me, Hale. You’re making no sense.” Hesitation. “I know something happened. I know you’re hiding shit from me. It has to be bad if you’re this desperate.”

Silence had me quickly glancing over. My Master’s lids closed as he came to a stop and stared up at the ceiling.

“That’s not enough, Brother. Tell me what the fuck is happening with you, and I may consider it.” A growl. “I do have the right.Until you come clean, I refuse to allow you admittance. And I can do that as head of the family.” His face lowered in my peripheral. “You’d do that? All because I’m respecting your wishes? You don’t want this. You never did. Until you’re honest with me…no.” A pause. “Do what you feel you have to. I will too.”

He hung up, squeezing into the phone. I could see him glance my way, but I kept my stare ahead on the show as he kept going back and forth.

“You’re still mad.”

“I’m not.”