Page 23 of Master B-0361
“You’re going to lie to me too?”
He threw the phone at the other side of the sofa making me jump.
“Great. Just fucking…great. Anything else you want to lie to me about while we’re having this fantastic fucking conversation?”
“No, but we’re out of coffee. I need to make a grocery order.”
“I told you I don’t drink that shit. I’ll go to the lobby.”
My head jerked over. “It’s forme, not you. The world doesn’t revolve around you, Sebastian. If I have to be here, I want some goddamn coffee.”
His eyebrows lifted in surprise, and he jolted to a stop.
“What did you call me?”
“You heard me.” Now that I had started, it was impossible for me to stop. I was shaking. Nauseous. I should have feared him saying Maggie’s name and shutting me down again, but I was too unstable for that. My mind was swarming on what I wanted or needed. I was confused at a pull I couldn’t understand. At empathy I shouldn’t hold. How could I fear someone and yet crave their presence? I was fucked. I was broken.
“Coffee. Fine. What else do you want to get off your chest?”
“Nothing.”
“No, please. Keep going. I think I’d rather listen to you bitch than to see you pout, watching that stupid show.”
“I’m not pouting.”
“Lies.”
“I’m not lying. I don’t lie. I have no reason to.”
“Then be honest. Say everything that you’re thinking. You hate me. You think I’m fucking sick. You wish I was dead.”
My lids lowered into a glare only for the black hole of emptiness inside to return. With it, the anger subsided, and I couldn’t keep in the truth.
“I should. I don’t.”
“What do you mean, you don’t? You don’t hate me? You don’t think I’m sick?”
My eyes rolled. “You’re not the only one who’s ever…been the way you have.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You were in love. She died. Your mind is trying to grasp what’s left the only way it knows how. I know pain. Having sex with…” I stopped as his brows lifted expectantly. “You don’t need to commit murder to replicate something close to what you need.”
“You’re going to tell me you know ways?”
“Well.” I swallowed hard. “There’s always ice.”
My Master’s head cocked to the side.
“You’re serious.”
“I don’t mind the cold. What I do mind is that…thing you do. Shutting me down like that. You left me. You?—”
“That’s what did it? You’re all fucked up because I left you alone like that?”
Tears clouded my eyes. “You didn’t just leave me. You were smothering me with your big-ass, heavy body. You threw up on me. Have you ever tried to hold your bladder until you couldn’tanymore? Try doing that multiple times. Have your body ache and go numb and not be able to stop the pain. Try enduring that shit. Hell, try thinking about someone other than yourself. What about our problems? What about our needs? But you can’t even fathom my questions because you can’t get over how ridiculous they sound. Why?Because it’s not you. You’re the head of your family. You’re the Master. You’re obviously rich so you’re probably some mighty, powerful CEO, spouting orders to the peons below.”
“Are you done?”