Page 85 of Dirty Secrets
I blew out a breath, shaking my head. “I can give you a little more money if it helps, but you can’t stay. I love you, but?—”
“No, you fucking don’t. I gave you life and you’re throwing me out on the street to fend for myself!”
“I think you’ll survive. Reid did,” Logan said dryly, motioning to the door. “Please, leave.”
“How much money do you have?” she asked me, and I hesitated before reaching into my pocket for my wallet. I gave her another thirty, her eyes narrowing. “That’s it?”
“I’ve given you fifty and left myself twenty,” I said weakly, not fighting it as she snatched my last twenty.
“You need to learn to respect me more. Hopefully this will be enough to find somewhere to sleep tonight,” she hissed, stalking out and slamming the door behind her.
“Fuck!” I snapped, slamming my fist down onto the table with a bang as Logan moved to lock the door to make sure she couldn’t let herself back in.
“She’s never going to change, bro,” Logan muttered, leaning back against the door to cross his arms. “A normal parent would rather starve if it meant their kid could eat. She doesn’t care about you, she only cares what you can give her.”
“You want me to just let my mom live in the gutter?” I demanded, and he didn’t even hesitate to answer.
“Yeah, dude. I do. She’s a piece of shit. My mom’s rotting in a prison cell, and I hope she never sees the light of day again. Blood doesn’t mean loyalty, and we owe our parents nothing.”
“My mom just needs help. It’s not like she tried to sell me for money or let her clients touch me like yours did,” I threw back, knowing I’d fucked up when he recoiled.
Logan didn’t talk about his mom much, she’d left him with more trauma than any kid I’d known. I was his best friend and knew better than to even bring it up like that.
“Shit, Logan—” I started, but he shook his head with a humorless laugh.
“You’re really on a roll today, aren’t you? I’m relieved your mom never sold you or let people molest you for money. I wouldn’t wish it upon my worst goddamn enemy. Just remember that while you’re protecting your junkie mom who abandoned you, you’re pushing away the only family you have that actually appreciates everything you do for them and would rather die than see you get hurt. You want to help Isla? Go on then, go get a cute little house with her and spend the rest of your life babysitting her until she ODs. By then, Raven will be married to someone who actually gives a shit about her, probably with kids, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”
“No one’s going to touch Raven,” I snapped, not liking the amused smirk on his face.
“Whatever you think. Put her first or fuck off. I mean it.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Raven can do what she wants, I’m not stopping her and neither is Zavier. You hurt her today. Again. And now you’re going to try and lash out at me?” I knew he was going to punch me before he even lifted his hand, the force making me stumble slightly as I rubbed my tender cheek. “We might be friends, but you have to remember that she was my friend first. If you treat her like shit, I won’t side with you. Just because your parents weren’t as bad as mine, doesn’t make them good. Your dad probably would’ve beaten you just like mine did if yours had been part of your life. Your mom’s taste in clients and men sucks. You think she’s a good parent because she didn’t let people touch you? You sat in filth for weeks on end, almost starving to death if it wasn’t for you rummaging in the fucking trash or stealing shit. She took it out on you when she was coming down from a high, just like mine did.” He was breathing harder now, standing over me and giving me a shove. “Open your fucking eyes, Reid. Sheonly wants you around so you can make her some money for her drugs. You’re a meal ticket, nothing more. She will always love the drugs more than she could ever love you, and nothing you do will change that.” His words stung despite me knowing he was right, and I winced as he slammed his fist into my face again. “That’s for hurting Raven.”
He stormed off to his bedroom, leaving me alone, and the house suddenly felt so lonely.
Logan
Reid was way out of line. Being an asshole to Raven was already going to earn him a punch, but bringing up my mom brought out a whole different type of rage from me. He was lucky I didn’t knock his teeth down his throat.
I clenched my fists as I sat on the bed with my back against the headboard, fighting the urge to go and punch him again. I flinched at the memories of rough hands on me, squeezing my eyes shut as if to block out their voices and the pain I’d felt in those moments.
Mom never stuck to the boundaries she’d set, not when those men offered her more money.
The looking only rule hadn’t lasted long when she was offered more to let them come on me. Then that rule changed again when they wanted to touch me just to feel my skin on them.
A few months after my sixth birthday, all boundaries were gone as long as they paid.
It was a sick world we lived in when a scared six-year-old boy made more money than his willing slut of a mother.
Raven only knew because I’d snuck in her bedroom window one night when I was eight, a black eye and blood running downmy thighs. That client had been a regular, I could still remember the smell he’d left on my skin.
He’d traded his time with me for heroin this time.
Mom was so fucked up on it that she didn’t even hear me screaming for her to make him stop.
Raven had begged me to tell Josh and Reid so they could help me, which was the only reason I’d told them too. I’d opened up to Zavier once when we were bonding over parent trauma, but we hadn’t spoken about it since.