Page 82 of Rescuing Ryder
Startling her, she dropped the cup of tea, spilling it on her fingers, causing her to hiss at the hot liquid.
“Ryder. You scared me half to death. Where did you go this evening?” Claire walked toward him.
Ryder’s eyes appeared bloodshot, yet she didn’t smell any alcohol.
“Ryder?” She stopped before him, searching his face.
“I’m leaving, Claire. I’m returning home.”
Claire swallowed, attempting to pull up everything her education taught her. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.
“I wanted to thank you. It’s not your fault. I’m ready to return. The mountain helped me, and I’m grateful for the time I spent here.”
“Then why do you want to leave?” Claire whispered. “It doesn’t make sense. What about the people here? They’ve grown to care for you. What about Scott?” She grasped at straws, trying to come up with a reason for him to stay.
Ryder cupped her cheek and smiled sadly.
“Talk to me,” Claire pleaded.
He sighed. “I don’t have an urge to self-harm. You’ve done your job. You’ve given me the tools to handle living like this.”
Claire shook her head. “You’re not ready. There’s so much more, Ryder. You’re on the cusp of something bigger than you ever imagined.”
“I’m ready to go,” he insisted.
“Why did you turn the job offer down? Did it have anything to do with me?” she questioned.
“No.” Ryder shook his head.
“What about me?” she whispered. “I thought…”
“You deserve a life with a man like Gregory Klein. A man who comes home in suits and plays the stock market. You don’t want some damaged sad sack who you can’t rely on,” Ryder stated convincingly.
“What if I want you?” Claire’s green eyes pooled with tears. “I didn’t count on you, and yet you protected me. You stayed with me and chased the monsters away. I still have projects,” her voice drifted off.
“Claire, don’t make this harder than it already is. You need someone who you can count on,” Ryder chided softly.
Anger boiled up inside her. Claire didn’t like this Ryder. This guy needed a serious ass-kicking. He whined. The man Claire knew would rather she punch him in the nose.
“Fine. Leave. You’re not ready and no amount of talking will convince you,” she demanded angrily.
“Don’t get angry. I want us to remain friends,” Ryder soothed and stepped toward her.
“I don’t want your friendship.” She avoided him. “Where do you get off telling me what I need? You don’t even see what’s been staring you in the face this entire time,” Claire yelled and turned toward the couch.
Ryder’s hand shot out to turn her around when Claire shoved his chest.
“What the hell do you mean?” Ryder seethed.
“You're leaving because you don’t want to face the hard shit. It’s all nice to string the nice doctor along and leave when the going gets tough. You’re only doing what you do best. Run, Ryder. You ensured no one would come after you this time. You made Tex promise to leave you alone and you’re leaving behind all your connections here. All because you don’t want to work through it.” Claire barely controlled her voice.
“Lady, you don’t know how hard I’ve worked.” Ryder’s jaw clenched and his hands gripped his hips as he stared Claire down.
“Oh yes, I do. I’ve read every single report. You worked hard at pushing people away,” Claire challenged. “As soon as they dug deeper to help you, you ran. Or you allowed them to medicate you until you walked around in zombie mode.”
“I never liked the meds. You know I hated them,” he yelled back.
Claire shook her head. “You used them to numb the voices. When they stopped working, you went on to something else.”