Page 169 of Mafia And Maid

I rehearsed the whole goddamn speech in my room, but now that I’m face to face with her, I can’t remember a damn word of it.

“I…” I clear my throat, scrubbing my jaw. “It won’t happen again. You deserve someone who isn’t a wild beast at the drop of a hat, especially in front of Ethan. Who doesn’t lose his temper and pummel rich assholes. I know that… I just...” Fuck, this is harder than I want to admit.

But that ache in my chest, the one that’s ripping me apart from the inside out at the idea of her walking back out that door, is killing me little by little.

I drop my eyes. “I’m not the best man…or even a good one. I might never be.But God, do I want to be it for you. It’s not in me to change easily. I’m the way I am because I need to be. My family depends on me being able to do what I do. But with you, Rosa, it’s different. It’s always been different. I don’t want to be the brute or thug when you’re around. Iwant to be the manyou see. I sure as fuck don’t want people gossiping about me or you. And I don’t want people hurting you or making you doubt yourself just because they’ve seen you with me.”

Rosa steps closer to me, her head tilting back to meet my gaze.

I cup her face in my hands. “All the things people say about me. All the things I’ve done… I don’t want you to be ashamed of me. Or hurt. Or worse.” But I’m fucking selfish. “A better man would let you slip away. Let you live a life where you’re safe and away from danger. A better man wouldn’t be selfish like me. He wouldn’t do the things I do and call it love. Because that’s what this is.Love…”

I haven’t ever admitted it out aloud before.

“Rosa, my obsessive need to be near you, with you, in you…it’s all because I’m in love with you.”

“I want to keep you here. With me. Because this is your home as much as it is mine. Because I—” The words are thick in my throat. Love. It’s not a word I thought I’d ever say. When it happened, I’m not sure I know.

The moment I laid eyes on her in that fucking wedding dress perhaps, but the fact remains that my heart is in her hands even if she rejects me. Even if she decides to pack up her things and leave.

“My heart is yours, Rosa.I’myours. I…”

“Camillo.” Rosa’s soft voice draws my attention back to her.

“Yes, beautiful?”

Her lip twitches at the corner. “Can I say something now?”

There’s still so much I have to tell her. Still so much I need to explain or try to explain. But I nod, letting her go.

“Good.” A deep breath leaves her.

I tense, bracing for the news she’s going to tell me. Every bone in my body is telling me to run. To put as much distance between Rosa and me as possible. Because a man like me doesn’t deserve someone like her. Because this weakness she causes in me scares the absolute shit out of me. I’ve built myself to be a man of power. Of strength. But I would crumble to my knees just to hear her say she feels the same way I do.

My heart thunders in my chest as I wait for her to continue, acutely aware that her fingers are curling around the soft cotton of my T-shirt. Their slight tremble is the only thing telling me she’s nervous or scared.

Her eyes bounce around the place. “I leave for a few days, and this place is just…well, it’s a mess.”

Confusion knits my brows. “Huh?”

“Clearly, you guys need a maid. So, I’ve decided Ethan and I are going to stay.”

I blink. Searching her eyes, I wait for her to fill in the rest of that statement. It’s incomplete.She’ll stay until when? For how long?

“If you’ll still have me? Have us?” Her voice trembles, soft and unsure.

“For how long?” The words scrape out of my throat. If this is just a temporary thing, I don’t think I’ll survive.

“There has to be a limit?”

“No, of course there doesn’t. I just…” I rub the back of my neck. “You said you wouldn’t need the job here anymore.”

“I don’t.” Her honesty feels like a sucker punch. How have I messed this up so badly? “When I said that, I just meant I didn’t need you to pay me for my work. But this is my home now, you said so yourself. Juliana, Cate, all the kids, Alessio, even Marco. And you—especially you.You’re home. This is our home.” And I should have stuck up for you more in front of my family. I shouldn’t have let them speak to you like that or throw you out. I’m so sorry, Camillo. I need to start putting first the people who matter to me—you and Ethan. And I’ve got to let go of the people who won’t ever change or accept me for the person I am.”

“I should have answered your text, Rosa. But what about the rest of it? The funeral? The embarrassment I caused you?”

“We can embarrass my family together. I’m great at it.” Her lip twitches again, and I see a soft sheen of tears in her eyes. “I don’t condone violence. But I understand why you did it. You want to protect your family. You want to protectus. How can I fault you for that?”

“If I told you what I’ve done in the past, you’d take off for the hills and never look back. But I’m trying here. For you and for Ethan.”