Page 72 of Beautiful Noise
My mouth dropped open. “Are you serious right now?”
“Very. One of us has to be. I believe you to be a smart woman, Kori, regardless of you not acting as such. Your mother and I raised you properly. You’re cultured and educated, yet belittle yourself to being a plaything for a man who won’t remember your name two months from now. When that happens, what’s next? Do you think you will have a respectable career? No one will touch you. When he finds a newmuse, your mother and I will not be here to fix the broken pieces of your life.”
Muse. He had thoroughly researched Ezren but that wouldn’t have been a complicated task. However, what he’d read about him online was not a reflection of the man he was.
“My life isn’t broken. I don’t need you tofixme. The only thing I need is for you to accept that what you want for me is not what I want for myself. More importantly the only thing I need from my parents, who are supposed to love me unconditionally, is for you to support the decisions I’ve made about my life, even if those decisions aren’t what you would choose for me.”
“Support what, sweetheart? That you’re sleeping with a man whose fame and popularity is solidified by the countless women he has sex with to inspire his creativity.”
I curled my fingers into my palms and lifted from my chair. “You don’t know a damn thing about him.”
“Oh but I do, sweetheart. He’s using you. Do you think it’s a coincidence that he’s pushing this agenda of your poetic greatness? They’re just words and won’t mean a damn thing once he’s taken what he needs.Youwon’t matter. Those words won’t matter. Everything you’re experiencing is temporary. Your mother and I won’t clean up this mess you’ve made. I refuse.”
My poems?He had not only done research on Ezren but had been following my life as well.Was he pissed because the possibility of me being successful without him existed? Was my father angry because I could stand on my own without him?So many thoughts rushed to the forefront of my mind.
I laughed arrogantly, rounding the table. “Does it bother you that much?”
“Yes, it bothers me. You’re better than this.Iraised you to be better than this.”
I smiled softly. “Not me and my life choices. That’s not what I’m asking. I’m curious to know if it bothers you that much that I’m not likeher.” His eyes narrowed and I tilted my head to the side when I added. “My mother. It makes so much sense now. It’s not really about the choices I make. Your disdain is about me not falling in line with the choicesyou’vemade. You hate that I refuse to smile, nod, and agree. Is your ego that fragile that the women in your life have to be subservient to you? Is our submission the only thing that makes you feel like a man? King on his throne? Head of this family?”
His expression set into a scowl. I struck a nerve. “My ego is just fine, Kori. I don’tneedsubmission, just respect. Your mother understands her role. You don’t, but like you adamantlywant to prove, you’re an adult. You have the freedom to make your own choices, just know that if you choose him and this foolishness you’ve accepted into your life, you're also choosing to lose your connection to this family. I will not stand for the disrespect.”
I inhaled the disappointment and exhaled it slowly before I moved closer to my father and placed a kiss on his cheek. “I love you. I pray that one day you can love me enough to understand whatyou’relosing.”
“I’m not the one losing, Kori. You are.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’m more disappointed that you truly believe that or relieved knowing I don’t.”
If this was the father he chose to be, I wasn’t losing, he was. That broke my heart and delivered peace at the same time. Losing my father meant gaining the freedom to be myself.
“Ri, why don’t you come say goodbye to your mother and give me a minute with your father?”
Ezren appeared next to me and placed a hand on my hip. The tension I felt from the disagreement with my father instantly dissipated. When I tilted my head, he offered a reassuring smile. “Go ahead, I won’t be long.”
I left the dining room and found my mother standing in the hallway just outside the living room. Her sympathetic eyes reached me before I made it to her and I half expected she would show understanding or even remorse for how my father behaved.
I was wrong.
“Why are you being so difficult about this? All you had to do was show up today, prove to your father and me that you are ready to come home, and we would have gladly welcomed you with open arms.”
“I left. What on earth would make you believe I want to come home? You asked me to come today.”
“Youasked me for help.”
“Months ago. You refused and told me I was no longer relevant in your life.”
“Your father didn’t think it was a good idea. Enabling you wasn’t going to fix…”
“What the fuck is with the two of you and the idea that you need tofixme? I’m not broken. I’m a woman who is finally coming into her own. I’m realizing that I have the right to livemylife.”
“And what kind of life are you living, Kori? That man you brought here toourhome has embarrassed you.Youhave embarrassed us. You have to see things from your father’s perspective…”
“I don’t have to see a damn thing and neither doyou. His perspective is not the holy grail.”
She reared her head back in disgust. “He’s my husband.”
“And I’m your daughter. Does that not count for anything?” I threw my hands up. She exhaled and rolled her shoulders back so her posture screamed defensive.