Page 73 of Beautiful Noise
“It counts for everything, Kori. Your father and I love you but you’re being selfish.”
“Or maybe you’re being delusional. You’re the wife of a man who refuses to appreciate the women in his life. You do what he says, no matter the cost, and what has that gotten you?”
“This house, our marriage, our lifestyle… which is pretty damn good, Kori.”
“Is it enough?”
Her eyes narrowed in challenge. “Yes, it’s enough. Don’t force your failure to be satisfied on me. I love my husband; I love my life. We’re successful, respected…”
“And you’re his puppet. That’s good enough for you but it is not for me. If you’re happy, then I love that you are. You have thelife you want. I wish the two of you could love me enough to be happy that I’ll one day have the life I want.”
“When, Kori, and at what cost? You might believe I’m losing something in the process, that I’ve lost myself, but everyone loses in one way or another. You won’t be the exception. Might as well get that in your head now so you’re less disappointed when reality settles in.”
Her eyes shifted and flicked past me. I turned my head to find Ezren coming down the hall. He stepped beside me with a stern look on his face. “Everything good here?”
“Yep, we can go now.”
He kissed my cheek and extended a hand to my mother. “I appreciate your hospitality, even if your husband didn’t extend the same courtesy.”
She blinked a few times but we were out of the door before she could respond. I noticed the SUV was already waiting in the driveway which meant at some point Ezren must have summoned them. He opened my door and waited for me to settle before shutting me in and joining me on the other side. Before we were out the driveway, his hands were at my waist and I was tucked protectively at his side. “Tell me what you need.”
I smiled and inched closer. “This.” I angled my head back and he leveled his toward me when I exhaled the frustration of seeing my parents. “I had things all wrong.”
“What’s that?”
“My parents. Mostly my father.” I paused, briefly organizing my thoughts. “His motives were never really aboutimageor a need to present our family to the world in some nice little package sealed with a bow. That mattered but it wasn’t the most important part of the equation.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Being home today, if I can even call it home, was different. The way he talked to my mother, the way he talked to me.How he tried to talk to you then became frustrated when the interactions didn’t play out in his favor was so insightful. None of this has ever been about the family image. His issue is control. He needs the control to feel important, to feel relevant. I’ve never considered this before today.”
“You never had a reason to. He gave orders you followed. Control isn’t always pushed through violence and harsh words. The most controlling people are often the most loved and revered. They have mastered the art of manipulation. He told you what your life would be and you agreed. You never challenged the control which means you didn’t realize it existed. You didn’t disappoint him so you never felt the consequences. The one time you did challenge his control, he reacted uncharacteristically and you couldn’t understand why because it felt foreign.”
“Yeah.”
I had always been the perfect, agreeable daughter. I followed their rules, fell in line with their expectations of what my life would be regardless of the empty feeling that always existed in the pit of my stomach when my friends talked about things that inspired them. I didn’t have that, not until I started writing, but even then it wasn’t enough to make me veer off the path they set me on.
“Sometimes you have to be in the thick of things to really understand your passion.”
“Or be forced on stage by a man trying to humble you.”
“Why couldn’t my intention be to help you realize your purpose?”
“Let’s agree to disagree.” I frowned. “What did you say to him?”
Ezren snorted arrogantly. “I told him that if my father hadn’t raised me to be a better man I would have broken his fucking jaw for how he spoke to you.”
“But you didn’t hit him?”
“Would you be upset if I had?”
I smiled slowly but honestly admitted, “I wouldn’t have been upset but…”
“I didn’t hit him. Physical pain would be temporary and easy to recover from. He doesn’t deserve easy. Fucking with his ego is a much more painful and debilitating fate.”
“How could you fuck with his ego?”
“Men are natural protectors. If another man has to do what you’re not capable of, the ego suffers a gut punch. I made sure he understood that he dropped the ball with you. He failed as a father and more importantly as a man. I also made sure, in no uncertain terms, that he knew I would do what he couldn’t, be the man you could count on to love and protect you. For men like your father, that’s the ultimate blow to the ego. Being inadequate demolishes their pride. I know men just like him.” A scowl settled onto his face. “My grandfatherishim.”