Page 18 of All Your Pain

She doesn’t look at me like I’m evil, even though she should. She doesn’t know half the things I want to do to her.

Willow makes me feel like I finally belong in this world.Belong with her.

“Shit. I’m in love.”

“Told you. Think she’s the one then?” He’s stopped joking now and looks genuinely happy for me.

“I don’t know,” I say solemnly. How can she be when I’m supposed to kill her? Obviously I can’t do that anymore but she’s never going to feel the same way about me. Eventually I’ll end up taking things too far and break her beyond repair. Then I’ll have to get rid of her. Lowering my voice I say, “she’s not exactly at my placewillingly.”

I’m not quite sure what sort of response to expect from him but it’s not the excited smile he gives me. “What the fuck does that mean?” he asks just as quietly as he leans forward until our faces are just a few inches apart.

With a sigh I tell him everything, well not all the shit I’ve done to her since she’s been at mine. He doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of my cock's life.

“No fucking way,” he says louder now. “So she’s basically like your sex slave!”

“What? No!” I say but he’s kind of right. I’ve been using her body constantly and although she won’t admit it, I know she’sbeen enjoying it. She’s been so responsive. Her orgasms speak for themselves. She’s clearly miserable though and I get it. A lot’s happened to her recently and if it takes a while longer for her to adjust then I can wait.

That makes me feel a tiny bit bad but what else am I supposed to do with her?

She’s probably trying to escape right now so it’s hardly like I can let her live in the house like a normal guest.

What if she’s found a way out already or hurt herself somehow?She seems way too comfortable with the concept of death, I shouldn't leave her alone for too long incase she tries something stupid.

I quickly shoot up and say, “I’ve got to go!”

Bones just smiles at me and waves me off. “Alright, lover boy. I’ll message you that list. Go enjoy your girl.” Then he snaps his fingers and summons one of the dancers over.

I don’t see if she’s the same one as before or a different girl. I don’t care. I don’t pay any of them any attention, not when the only thing on my mind is Willow.

8

WILLOW

I’ve not seen Dean much since my first night here which I’ve been glad of as it gives me a chance to come back to reality.

Whenever he’s near me, it’s like he steals my entire sense of everything, I can’t even breathe when he’s near.

He’s been doing everything for me. Feeding me from his hand and washing me, that is when he’s not just fucking me senseless and making it hurt.

I hate him but not as much as I hate myself. This would be so much easier if my body didn’t have a will of its own.

Every single time he’s used me, I’ve orgasmed. It’s humiliating. No matter how rough he is I’ve still come and I think that makes me worse than him.

How could anyone possibly get any pleasure from something so sick and twisted? Why doIget pleasure from it?

So far his idea of hurting me hasn’t gone past battering my insides with his cock and biting me or leaving marks with his fingers. I’m not even sure if the bruises from his fingertips are deliberate, he just seems to have a naturally strong grip that he doesn’t let up whilst he’s inside me.

It’s only a matter of time before it escalates, I’m sure of it.

I’d rather that than the gentle touches he gives me after though. Like he’s soothing a pet because that’s really all I am to him. I’m not even sure he sees me as human. Just something to use and fuck. He only looks after me so he can use me more.

How long will he drag this out for?

The worst part is how nice to me he is the entire time. Not once has he made me feel bad about anything, it’s my own mind that’s been doing that.

Dean showers me with praise and comforting touches like he’s my lover. He’s even stocked the bathroom with feminine products and new shampoo, like I'm his girlfriend that's moved in rather than his captive.

His actions make me feel like I’m not going anywhere for a long time but he’s not exactly told me he’s not going to kill me and even if he did I don’t think I’d believe him.