Page 87 of All Your Pain

Whore.

Dean comes back up to get me but I shake my head and back away. “No, I can’t go down there, Dean, I can’t.”

“I won’t let him touch you let alone hurt you baby. You're safe.” He takes my hand and although I feel numb as I follow behind him I know in my heart that I can trust him.

Tied to a chair in the center of the room is my dad. He looks so different, so small and nothing like the man I thought he was.His face is covered in blood and bruises that I’m sure Dean gave him. It's a sight that should make me feel bad for him, but I realize I don’t feel an ounce of sympathy.

My heart’s hammering in my chest and I feel another wave of nausea reminding me of the secret in my belly. I want to blurt the news out to Dean but the last person I want to tell is my dad so I keep my mouth shut.

Dean stalks up to him, his back muscles rippling under his tight, black shirt as waves of confidence roll off him. This is him in his element. It’s what's shaped him into the man he is today.

Pain and death.

They've accompanied him his whole life in ways so different to everyone else yet he still carries their weight with him.

As I watch him, I realize that I’m finally ready to accept all of him.

A loudslapbounces around the basement as Dean backhands my dad across the face, making his head snap sideways and his eyes shoot open. He tries to gasp for air and to shout for help but his mouth is covered in tape.

Dean grabs his throat and crouches down so they’re at eye level. “Wakey wakey,Dad.There's someone here that you owe an apology to.” I want to say that I don't want to hear that from him but I keep quiet. Maybe after losing me my dad's finally been able to see how wrong he was to hurt me.

Dad shouts something behind the tape as he fights against his bindings but he’s tied tight and I’m sure Dean’s made sure they’re tighter than necessary just for my benefit. He's acting calm but I can feel the heat of the anger and hate burning off his body from here.

“Dean,” I say hesitantly as I take a step forward. Dad’s eyes land on me. He stares at me in shock, like I’m a ghost, like he never expected to actually see me again. Then that surprise fades until there’s nothing but loathing in his eyes.

I stare blankly back at him. My knees shake and I want to run but I stand my ground. He can’t hurt me anymore. His words stopped hurting before I even made the decision to leave home and now that I have Dean by my side I know it’ll always be this way. He is my protector. My everything.

“Hi, Dad,” I say as I take Dean's hand, pulling him close to me. His other hand wraps around my waist and settles on my belly.Over our baby.

Knowing that I have a tiny life in me gives me all the strength I need to put my past to rest once and for all.

“The floor’s all yours, baby. You get to call the shots here,” Dean says against my neck and I arch my head back. Stealing the opportunity, he bites down making me whimper as I feel his teeth break the skin. He moans and laps at the wound, his cock pressing hard into my lower back.

Dad watches us with a horrified expression on his face and I can hear his voice in my head.

Whore.

Shame tries to creep it's way back into my mind, telling me this is wrong but I know now there's no such thing as wrong or right.

Dad looks away in disappointment and anger as he shakes his head. I want to scream at him that this is all his fault. That I’m only acting like this because it’s what he always told me I’d become but I can’t bring myself to feel angry.

If this is what makes me a whore then I fucking love it. “This is what you tried to keep me from for so long,” I say to him. “It’s not bad or disgusting. It's simply love. Being wanted and loved doesn’t make me any less. Thanks to Dean, I finally know what it feels like to be whole.”

Dean presses me tighter to him, whispering sweet words of praise into my ear, washing away all the toxicity I've been filled with all my life.

My own body starts to heat up as his hands snake over my front, teasing just below my breasts. He’s waiting for permission to touch me more but I don’t want to like this. Not because of shame. That bitch is finally dead and buried. I simply don't want my dad to be in any more of my memories.

“I want him gone,” I say with confidence. “But first I want to hear what he has to say.”

Dean's hands linger on me for a few more seconds before he pulls away and goes to stand behind my dad. He reaches down to rip the tape off his mouth and Dad screams out in pain.

“Willow! What the fuck is wrong with you, girl? You're acting like a cheap whore. Get your fucking attack dog to untie me and explain yourself!” he shouts out, his face turning bright red as he doesn’t stop to take a breath.

Dean's hands clamp down on Dad’s shoulders until he winces and shrinks down. If he’s my attack dog, then I’m the queen of hell and he's my hellhound at my command.

Standing a little bit taller, I take a step forward. “No, Dad.You'regoing to explain yourself. What the hell is wrong withyou?”

He shakes his head and spits a glob of blood at my feet. I jump back before it touches me and I quickly look up when I hear a scream. A knife is planted to the hilt in my dad’s knee and Dean pulls it out only to plunge it into the other knee making him howl out in pain again.