Page 59 of First Surrender
“Will you tell me what happened between you two?”
She drops the utensils she’s cleaning in the sink with a loud clatter before turning off the water. As she turns slowly to face me, indecision plays in her eyes.
I hope one of the choices is that she’ll trust me enough to tell me. The other one is probably to tell me to fuck off.
“You don’t have to-”
“It’s okay. I had just turned 17 and my mom had already been with Declan for a while when she told me she wanted us to live with him. I couldn’t believe it. I mean he was degrading toward me, creepy, and he was in his early twenties. It was weird for me and my mom didn’t understand. She refused to accept that she aged after she turned 30 or that she was supposed to be the responsible one.
“Then she told me she was pregnant and as you can probably imagine, I flipped out. Like screaming, cussing, and blaming her for being so stupid.” She pauses for a moment, squeezing her eyes shut for several seconds.
“She accused me of being jealous.” She scoffs at the thought but continues. “It was absurd and it only made me furious… I told her to get an abortion.” She hesitates before continuing, staring at the ground for a moment. I don’t say a word, giving her space to continue.
“We were inches from each other’s faces, screaming, and then suddenly I was thrown back. I landed on the couch but Declan jumped on top of me and started-” She grasps her own throat as if to show me so she doesn’t have to say it. My fists are clenched together painfully on the counter.
“He squeezed until I was seeing stars. I couldn’t breathe but I was more concerned about what would happen after I passed out. His body was on top of mine and I couldn’t stand feeling him on me. I was afraid he would rape me if I lost consciousness. I knew my mom would probably let him.
“The police came because the neighbor heard the fight. They ignored the marks on my neck and listened to my mom when she said that I was a bad kid. She swore I was making it up and they believed her. I tried to push it further but they dismissed my complaint.
“I tried to leave, I wanted to but then my mom had Dec and I knew I couldn’t stay away. It was hell, though. He never physically hurt me again but he would still mock me or threaten to hurt me any chance he got. My mom never stood up for me, not even when she was sober.”
“You didn’t deserve any of that,” I utter, truthfully. Now I can see her as the younger version of herself. Lost and abandoned, not taken care of by the one person who should have always kept her safe.
She nods her head stiffly, squeezing her eyes shut again, and all I see is pain. Pain in her heart and in her memories. “The police never saved me. I needed help so badly when I was growing up and they were never there when I needed them… They’d pull my mom over when she was driving under the influence, ignoring me in the backseat and letting her go because she’d bat her eyelashes or flash her cleavage.” Her eyes burn into mine as she tells me her story, begging me to understand.
“We’d get evicted from someplace and they’d be there to escort us out, but ignore the little girl who was living with a drug addict.” She chokes back a sob, her eyes fluttering as if she’s reliving the memory.
Before I know what I’m doing, I’m around the counter. I want to hug her but stop short because I don’t know that she’dwant me to. She eyes me up and down, wondering what I’m doing, while I stand in limbo, not knowing if I should take a step forward or back.
Instead, I open my arms to indicate my intentions. She huffs a sad sound and melts into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She doesn’t let go and neither do I.
“I’m going to do everything in my power to get Declan behind bars. He’ll slip up, I’ll get him on something. I’m never going to let him get to you and Dec again,” I vow against the top of her head, punctuating it with a soft kiss.
She starts trembling and warmth floods my shirt. Maybe she is a crier and I had her pegged wrong from the beginning.
I’m still thinking about it when I get back to work in the afternoon. It takes more than a few tries to dive back into my case files.
I’m so close to catching a break in all of these crimes but all I want to think about is the woman living in my home. The way she fits in my arms when she lets me hold her, the sadness in her eyes that I want to ease.
The quicker that I can get Declan back behind bars, the better.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Jackson
It’s a dark drive home by the time I put the case files down. My job is my life but I had to fight the urge to come home all evening. I’ve never been so desperate to find out what I’m eating for dinner.
Even though it’s late, there’s an un-belonging car in my driveway and two silhouettes in the front doorway as I park my SUV. I recognize the car before I recognize the silhouette blocking Natalie’s.
This can’t be good.
“Whitney? What are you doing here?” I ask a little too defensively as I quickly approach the two women at the door. Decency would say I should invite her in but I never have and don’t plan to start now.
“I stopped by to ask you to an event but you weren’t here. I didn’t get a chance to bring it up when you came over the other night,” she croons, attempting to touch my arm as I pass by her. The blonde woman I’ve known for years suddenly looks like a stranger, as if I‘ve never truly seen her at all.
“I’m busy,” I respond dismissively to Whitney but my eyes stay on Natalie. She’s standing deathly still, watching the interaction but not saying anything. She looks like a ghost of herself.
“I didn’t even tell you when the event was.” She laughs, not seemingly put off.