Page 86 of The Guy Next Door
“If anything comes up, we’re always here,” Mom says. “We love you.”
“Yes, and we’ll always love you, no matter what.”
Mom’s gaze wavers. “Unless we find out you’re a serial murderer or something.”
“Or that you’re part of some secret hate group,” Dad adds. “Or you run for office and try to take rights away from those less privileged than yourself. But other than that, our love is unconditional…with those conditions.” He winks, and Mom and I laugh.
I appreciate that they didn’t make it this big, heavy thing. And after dinner, they hug me and tell me again they love me.
I know they do.
And I know I’m lucky to have such cool parents.
*
Just as I’dhoped, the Wyachet Nights of Lights is open the following day, so Zane and I get tickets online before driving over. We get our wristbands and head inside the festival grounds, where they’ve set up with carnival rides, food trucks, and drink stands.
Zane glances around uneasily, his jaw tense. I know he’s not thrilled to be around a bunch of people, but I have a feeling his uneasiness isn’t about our date. He’s been on edge since I met him last night, after coming out to my parents. He was thrilled about the news, and so damn supportive, but I could tell he was off.
I’ve tried not to push. Despite what a good time we had yesterday, a good day can’t wash away all the bad. But I tell myself we don’t have to work that all out right now, and I do the best I can to enjoy our first official date.
We hit some of the rides—classics like the Gravitron, the drop tower, and the bumper cars. Then we grab hot chocolate and head through the Lights Walk.
“Everything okay?” I ask him after he glances over his shoulder.
He finally makes eye contact. “Yeah. Sorry. I keep having this feeling we’re being watched. That sounds stupid, doesn’t it?”
“It’s not stupid,” I try to reassure him, and he takes a breath, as if hearing me say that has set him at ease.
“I’m sorry I’m being like this. This is great. Just…I don’t know, all that shit with my brother really got on my mind yesterday, after we went to the park. At first it started as a little guilt, but then it got bigger throughout the night. Like it was wrong of me to enjoy myself when he could be…” He stops himself, like he doesn’t dare speculate what could be happening to his brother right now.
“Hey, come over here,” I say, guiding him off the walk to an empty bench beside an illuminated, human-sized nutcracker decoration.
I take his hand, interlocking our fingers, and his gaze meets mine again.
“I don’t want you to be miserable tonight, thinking you have to act cool or together for me. I’ve felt that with my parents, and it sucks and only makes things worse. It’s okay to have a bad night or week. I want you to feel comfortable being yourself, in whatever form that may take.”
He studies my expression, then snickers. “It’s hard for me to imagine I ever did anything good enough to deserve a boyfriend like you.”
I lean toward him. “Maybe you’re just that lucky,” I tease before stealing a kiss. He doesn’t resist, accepting my lips, then my tongue. I expected it to be quick, but soon, our faces are pushed up against each other’s, my cheeks appreciating the much-needed heat.
When I pull away, I’m practically humming with pleasure, when I hear, “Leif?”
The hairs on my neck and arms stand on end. I turn to see James in jeans and a leather jacket approaching with Avi,Lex, and Steph. The old gang, all back together, without me. It shouldn’t surprise me. They’re all home from college for winter break, and this is a big event around town.
James approaches until he’s about a yard from me, sizing me up.
In one hand, I’m still gripping Zane’s; in the other, I tighten my hold on my hot chocolate, trying to keep from crushing it as I think about the fucked-up way James turned his social media followers against me.
While James looks me in the eyes, everyone else is searching around, like they want to enjoy their night out, not confront an ex-friend.
“Good to see you again,” he says.
“Is it?” I ask.
He winces. “Wow. Here I was coming to give you a chance to apologize, but—”
“Apologize?Me?”