Page 87 of The Guy Next Door

“You accused me of talking shit to everyone about what happened to you.”

“I didn’t accuse you specifically, James, but based on how you’re acting, I guess I should have.” My cheeks are on fire as my rage intensifies.

James releases a nervous chuckle, the sort that confirms what I already know. “Figured not much has changed. You know, if you were trying to figure things out with your sexuality or whatever, I get it, but that’s not a reason to take it out on all of us.”

“What?” I ask.

Zane’s grip tenses against mine, like he’s as pissed as I am…or maybe trying to keep himself next to me rather than going after James for being such a fucking asshole.

“I get it,” James says. “My cousin got all weird and went a little crazy when he was struggling with being gay.”

Now my chest is hot. Although, it shouldn’t surprise me that James would thoughtlessly throw around the wordcrazywithout considering how offensive it is to others around him.

How was I ever friends with this guy?

“I was struggling with shit, and you knew that, but it didn’t have anything to do with my sexuality, and clearly, none of you were my friends to begin with because at least one of you knows I’m not the asshole here.” I try to make eye contact with Avi, but he avoids my gaze.

James releases another nervous chuckle. “Fine. Be a dick.” He spins around and starts off, the others following him. Steph and Avi glance over their shoulders. I can read the guilt all over their expressions.

I take a breath before turning to Zane, whose jaw is clenched as he stares forward, like he’s about to chase after them and hunt them down one by one.

“Hey,” I say. He shakes out of his state and turns to me.

“They were your fucking friends?”

“Yup.”

“Well, at least you made it clear they needed to fuck off.”

“Yeah. But it does make me sad. I mean, there was some problematic shit before, but friends have issues and hit rough patches. At least that’s what I thought it was, but now that I saw Steph and Avi…they looked like they didn’t want to go along with James, but they knew he’d be a dick if they didn’t. He used to say dumb shit, and I’d let him get away with it, but if he’d tried back then to turn all of us on a friend like that, I would’ve spoken up. I would have told everyone what they were doing was wrong.”

“Those guys who hang with him are cowards,” he says through his teeth.

“Only wish I’d known that sooner, you know?”

His grip on my hand relaxes, but then he firms it slightly. “I’m sorry you had to run into them tonight.”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later. Not that big of a city. Now can we pretend that didn’t happen and enjoy the rest of our night? As much as we can, at least.”

“Hey,” he says. “Keep in mind what you told me before those assholes showed up. We don’t have to pretend to be okay with each other. We don’t have to pretend we’re fine tonight. Let’s be not-fine together.”

A smile tugs at my lips.

He moves toward me, and I eagerly accept another kiss before we continue our stroll along the Lights Walk. Neither of us pretends things are fine. We don’t act like nothing’s wrong. Like we’re not hurting. We go through the walk, holding each other’s hand, carrying our pain and hurt.

There’s relief in not feeling the need to pretend that allows me to enjoy the walk and the Ferris wheel more than I would have if I’d needed to perform, to appear like I was having a fine time.

We don’t talk much. We don’t need to.

It’s nice to feel like this and know I’m not as alone as I once was.

When we finish, we head back to my car, and as I slide into the driver’s seat, Zane reaches over and takes my hand. “Thanks for tonight. It was nice.”

“It wasn’t what I was expecting, for sure, but I enjoyed spending it with you.”

He offers a warm, soothing smile. “Now how about we get back to my place and fuck away some of this bullshit?” he asks, leaning toward me.

“I like the sound of that.”