Page 59 of Mark

“Know what?” Nanna asks. “Why do you look like someone killed that cat of yours? Please tell me this isn’t about Danny.”

“Not now, Mum,” Dad pleads.

I turn to where Mum stands, her expression blank, but her eyes are filled with sadness. “Those words weren’t his to share,” I rasp, feeling the ice around my heart begin to melt. They weren’t inspirational and didn’t win awards, but they were mine. Anger begins to boil below the surface. I’ve dealt with them being together. I’ve stood and smiled whilst they got married. I was able to do it because I don’t harbour feelings for him. What we had is gone. But those words are a reminder of what I did feel. They were personal. Ours. Not meant to be shared as a vow to my sister. It’s messed up.

“Words?” Mark asks.

I meet his gaze. “The poem he read was mine. I wrote it for an English essay. I wrote it thinking of him.”

“That slimy ball bag,” Nanna growls. “I hope Esther is okay with being a widow.”

“Maybe he doesn’t realise. Maybe they were just in the back of his mind,” Mum offers. “She can’t know it was your poem he read.”

“Yes, because doing something to Esther would be a tragedy. She made multiple digs towards Freya during her entire speech,” Mark mutters, pulling me close. “We are going to meet you back on the boat.”

“We still have photos to take,” Mum argues.

I lean into his touch, absorbing his strength.

“Do you really think she’ll be able to stand and smile for a camera when she’s so on edge? You don’t want her breaking her composure right now. Trust me. Because it will be Freya who gets the blame.”

“Well, I don’t have a problem getting the blame,” Nanna states sharply.

“Go, Freya. You too, Mum,” Dad orders. “I’ll make up an excuse for why you had to leave early.”

“Thank you,” I whisper, and let Mark pull me away.

“Are you okay?” he asks when we are away from the crowd and it’s just us and my nan.

“No,” I rasp, but then let out a dry laugh. “That was more embarrassing than the fucking bridesmaid dress.”

“Why? Your dress is hot, my girl,” Nanna declares.

Mark leans over to see her. “No. She means the actual bridesmaid dress. It was ugly as fuck.”

“They looked fine to me,” she replies, glancing back to where they are all congratulating the newlyweds.

“Mine had sleeves,” I explain.

“Trust me. It belonged in a Halloween shop,” Mark announces.

I snort. “I said the same thing.”

“You must have really loved him to write a poem like that,” Mark states, his voice drifting off.

“Love was the topic. It could have been about a broken heart or even a beloved pet. I chose to write about Danny because at the time, I thought we were forever. We had been friends since we were fourteen. We got together in sixth-form. I was in love.” I shrug, like it’s meaningless, but at the time it meant everything. He meant everything. “I’m not anymore. I haven’t been for a long time. And honestly, even if he had never got with my sister or broke up with me, I don’t think we’d still be together. We’re two different people, and as I moved up in my career, we would have clashed.”

Nanna snorts. “My Freya doesn’t do second chances. She was broken hearted over the break up but she would never have begged for him back. And definitely not after he was unfaithful. In her eyes, if someone can take your man, he’s theirs to keep. She doesn’t want him.”

“Too right,” I confirm.

“I’m so confused,” Mark announces, and he sounds it.

My lips twitch. “I’m not upset that he married my sister, if that’s what you are wondering. It’s that he used a poem I wrote for his vows. They were my words. My feelings. He had no right to repeat them. Not to Esther. Not as a vow. It’s not fair to her or to me.”

“So you aren’t upset?”

“I’m angry if that counts as being upset. I’m angry because during all of this, I’ve never hated them. I’ve never taken my anger out on them even though I really wanted to in the beginning. All our arguments have stemmed from me standing up for myself. No one else would, and it began to take a toll on me. Danny is not even a chapter in my life for me to look back on. When I erased him from my life, all our memories were erased too.”