Page 47 of Rough and Rugged
Ishouldhavestrangledhim. I really should have.
I’d slept in his house. I’d had the chance. And heavens knew he’d given me the motivation.
I mumbled to myself as I slammed things around my studio.
You deserve better. You deserve more.
What did that even mean? Therewasno one better than Caleb Scott, not for me.
“I take it your talk with Caleb didn’t go well.”
I spun around to see Carson standing in the doorway.
“Your brother…,” I pointed at Carson, my eyes narrowed, “…is obstinate and frustrating and infuriating and… grrr!” I threw my hands up in the air, annoyed beyond words.
Carson, as usual, was unperturbed by my outburst. He crossed to my workbench and rested against it.
“Agree on all counts.” He nodded, sounding every bit the attorney he was. “And I’ll add self-sacrificing and oblivious, as well.”
“Yes! Thank you!” I plopped down on my desk chair. “Especially oblivious.” I huffed out a breath. “Do you know what he said? That I ‘deserved someone better’ and he’d never ask for a divorce because being married to me is the only way he can ‘protect’ me. Can you believe that?”
Carson’s eyebrows winged up.
“I thought you were going up there to corner him about accepting the money. How did divorce come up?”
“It was my fault. I asked Caleb why he hadn’t asked for a divorce.” I shook my head, wishing for a do-over. “I got a little mad and the conversation kind of spiraled.”
“Sounds like it.” Carson watched me for a moment in that assessing way he had. “It also sounds like Caleb isn’t the only one who’s oblivious.”
I straightened, surprised and a little offended.
“Wait… me? You think I’m oblivious?”
“You and Caleb are like the blind leading the blind. Neither one of you can see what’s staring you in the face.”
Carson crossed to me, crouching down in front of me as I sputtered in indignation.
“He’s in love with you, Gemma. Every bit as much as you are with him.”
I stopped sputtering and stared at Carson.
“He… what?”
“Has been for years.” He nodded slowly, reinforcing his words. “Again, just like you have been with him.”
“I mean…” A dangerous hope blossomed inside me, but I couldn’t let it grow, not yet. “Like a sister, sure, but…”
Carson’s hand landed on mine. “No, Gemma. Not like a sister. He’sin lovewith you. Like a man loves a woman. The only woman he’s ever wanted but told himself he could never have.”
“But… why? Why would he think that?” I didn’t bother denying my feelings for Caleb. Carson had already seen the truth.
“Sounds like he told you why.”
“His reasons make no sense, though.”
Carson squeezed my hand. “They do to him. Caleb would never put his own needs and desires before yours, Gemma. Think about it. He stood back and said nothing when you got engaged to Stefan because Stefan was here, in the US, by your side and taking care of you – or so we thought – when he couldn’t be. He offered marriage because it was what you needed. He won’t take your money because it’s for you. It goes on and on.”
“He’s never said anything, though.” I clung to Carson’s hand, that dangerous hope growing stronger. “He’s never even hinted.”