Page 93 of Hannah.
Dad shakes his head. “We've all got our problems. I’m sure Hannah is brilliant, but she is also a liability. For the sake of our family and for hers, this needs to end.”
“Fuck….” The word is bitter and dry in my mouth. They all have me backed into a corner, and my dad knows me toodamned well. I'd rather break Hannah's heart, and mine in the process, if it means she won’t lose her place at the university she's wanted to attend for her entire life. Or even worse, her secret kleptomania being revealed to the world. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt her.”
“Then end things. As soon as possible. If it's not handled within the next few days, then Astrid and her dad will make sure the Dean knows, and she’ll be sent back to the Netherlands.”
“Jesus Christ,” I mutter under my breath. “I can't fucking believe this. This is absolutely insane. How the fuck am I supposed to end things with her? We just got together.”
Dad sighs heavily, but he’s growing impatient. I can see it in the way he’s shifting his weight and the way his face is flushed red. “Figure it out. You always do.”
“And then what?” my voice cracks, and I can't help the emotion that seeps through. “What do I do after this if you and her dad are taking everything away from me?”
Dad’s anger dissipates. The lines on his face soften a bit as he reaches out to put his hand on my arm. I don't fight him. “Choose Astrid. Don’t let that Dutch girl ruin your future.”
That Dutch girl is everything, I think, but saying the words out loud is pointless. “Leave Hannah…and then I assume I have to propose to Astrid on some asinine schedule?”
“That’d be the honorable thing to do.” Despite his answer, his tone remains serious and guarded. “This is much bigger than both of us. The Goschens are a powerful family, and if you don’t fall into line, they will destroy us, our legacy. Do you want that?”
“No.”
“Then do what's right.” He puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes.
I bite the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood. “Fine. Get out of here. I need a moment alone, and I’ve got a lot of work to do if this is going to be handled by tonight.”
“Good. And remember—marrying Astrid won’t be nearly as horrible as you believe, son. You two were a good match. You might not have been in love, but you two were happy. In the long run, I think you will see that this was the right thing to do all along.”
I stand an arm, showing him the door. “Just get out of here!”
He claps me once more on the shoulder and then heads back into the home, leaving me reeling.
I have no idea how to do this. None.
I pull out my phone and consider calling Hannah, but I know she won’t answer if she’s in class. I open my messaging app and see that she left a text right after I messaged her this morning.
Hannah:Gm! Ouch. That sucks. Is everything okay with your dad? Let me know! X
I try to text her, composing message after message, but I just can’t bear to send them. Breaking things off with her feels impossible. I...I just can't. Not yet, at least. I need to let the storm inside of me settle. So, for now, I need to confront Astrid.
The thought of her brings on a fresh wave of fury. How could she do this? Sure, I should have been more honest with her, should have made the break between us clean. And I should have done it weeks ago.
But what right does she have to interfere in my life now? To use the one thing I’ve kept hidden from her against me like this? I’ve never known her to be cruel and vindictive, but apparently, I haven’t known her very well at all.
The message I write to Astrid is short and to the point. If she's been part of orchestrating this entire mess, then I’m sure she’s aware my dad is confronting me today. No reason to be vague or sugarcoat things when she’s the mastermind behind it all.
Johan:I’m heading back to campus. Talk to you when I get there.
There. Short, sweet, and to the point. I can't muster any of the politeness I’ve used over the months, either. If she's going to resort to using secrets against me, then fuck it.
After a few minutes of processing everything that has just happened, I head straight to my car, avoiding entering the house altogether. I spend the drive silently fuming. By the time I’m back at my apartment, there are two missed calls from Astrid and a couple of texts.
Astrid:Of course. I’ll come by whenever you get here.
Behind my apartment building, there is a small, slightly overgrown seating area. Vines wind around the legs of the sun-bleached wooden benches. It’s clear that the area isn't used much, and the groundskeeper doesn’t give the random spot of benches much attention, if any. Which is why it's the perfect place to confront Astrid.
Clearly, neither one of us wants to air whatever is going to happen within the walls of the apartment. In the past, Astrid and I were careful to keep our private arguments quiet and tucked away from others. But that was then. And this is now.
Now, I don’t trust her, and the last thing I want is to be left alone in my apartment with her. It will be private enough behind the building. It’s the middle of the school day, and plenty of people are in class. Also…I don't have the time nor the inclination to be concerned about what my neighbors think. Let them gossip. It seems to be the most popular thing to do around here these days.
I messaged Astrid ten minutes ago, so when I arrive I find her already waiting for me, seated on one of the wooden benches. Her camel belted wool coat, perfectly tailored, wrapsaround her like a stylish shield against the chill. The coat’s soft fabric and classic cut exude sophistication, its rich camel color blending harmoniously with the autumnal hues of the cityscape. Astrid stands when she sees me approaching. Her expression is guarded, and there’s a stiffness to her shoulders that tells me she's bracing herself for this conversation. Good. I’m glad she isn’t looking forward to this. Neither am I.