Page 41 of Possessing Paisley
I sit up straighter against the cushioned headboard, then reach over and pull her onto my lap. If she thinks I’m going to allow that answer—or allow her to push me away—she doesn’t know me very well. There will be no secrets between us. No space. No hidden thoughts. No privacy.
“First of all, nothing you feel is ridiculous. Second, you’re not fine, and you know I don’t like lying. Tell Daddy what’s making you sad.”
“I’m just overthinking. I’m getting ahead of myself, thinking the worst.”
What does she have to think the worst about? I just told her she was mine. I never say anything unless I mean it with every piece of me.
“What are you thinking the worst about?”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter. We’re having a good time, and I’m ruining it. I should go home.”
When she tries to shift away from me, I tighten my arms around her, not giving her an inch to budge.
“You’re not ruining anything. And you’re sure as fuck not going anywhere. You need to talk to me, Little one. I can’t fix things if I don’t know what’s going on. Now, start talking, or I’m going to start counting, and if I get to three, I’ll spank the answers out of you.”
Her mouth drops open, and she crosses her arms over her chest. “You wouldn’t do that, Daddy. That’s so mean.”
I raise an eyebrow and capture her chin between my fingers. “I am mean, and I absolutely will do that if that’s what it takes. I’m not good at communicating, so I’ll do what I need to do to get what I want.”
She drops her arms, then leans into me again, resting her head on my shoulder. “I’m scared, Kieran. Two days ago, I hated you. But I didn’t really hate you, y’know? And now, you’re coming at me with all this deep stuff and talking about the future. It’s exciting, and in my mind, I start picking out paint colors and furniture for our house. Then, I come back to reality and realize how ridiculous I am. This isn’t going to last. You’ll grow tired of my sass, eccentricities, and dark style, and you’ll go find someone easier and prettier. And that’s okay. I just needto stop thinking about white picket fences and a Newfoundland named Buster.”
Oh, how badly I want to give her a piece of paper and a pen and tell her to list the name of every person in her life who ever hurt her or made her doubt herself.
“Baby, we’re not getting a fucking white picket fence. It’s going to be black so it matches our house,” I say dryly, smirking at her when her head snaps up. “You never hated me, Paisley. Just like I never hated you. This thing between us has been building for months while we’ve both tried to deny it. Let me tell you one thing, though.
“I’ve never felt for any woman what I feel for you. I’ve never been so protective and possessive over a woman. I’ve never wondered how long I need to wait before I can go ring shopping untilyou. In my eyes, Paisley, there is no one prettier than you. And the best part of all? Your beauty is on the insideandthe outside.
“I’m obsessed with you, baby. I have been since the night I pulled you out of that goddamn club. If you want to pick paint colors, let’s go to the hardware store and stay up all night painting. If you want all new furniture, we’ll toss the existing shit outside and burn it. I’ll have the picket fence installed tomorrow. The dog, too. I might draw the line at calling the thing Buster, though.”
Her eyes shine with fresh tears, but this time, she’s smiling, so I’m hoping everything I said actually sunk in. It might seem like this is happening so quickly, but it’s been smoldering for months, and now, I’m ready for the next step.
“I’m all in, Paisley. I never thought I’d ever want to spend my life with a woman again. Not until you.”
Even in this giant bedroom, sitting on my king-size bed with only muted natural light from the windows, this moment feelsintimate yet monumental. Almost as though this could be a turning point for us.
“Someone hurt you before,” she murmurs.
I shake my head. “No.”
She narrows her eyes and pinches my chest sharply. “Lying is against the rules.”
My heart pounds faster, emotion swirling in my stomach. I don’t think I like her throwing that rule back at me. Brat. “You’re right. It is against the rules.” I take a deep breath and close my eyes for a second. “Someone hurt me a long time ago. I haven’t had more than a casual hook-up since.”
Memories of my past hit me like a bullet. I’ve had fleeting thoughts of her over the years, but to actually talk about her brings up fresh waves of hurt, anger, and resentment. I’m an intelligent man with excellent instincts, but for some reason, I was so fucking blind to her. I’ll never understand why.
Paisley stares at me for several seconds, chewing on her bottom lip. One thing I’m learning about my girl is that she feels deep. Her outer shield is tough, but once you get under that, you see so much more of her.
“What did she do to hurt you?” she asks quietly.
“It doesn’t matter. She’s in the past.”
“It does matter because I don’t want to do what she did to you.”
I reach out and slide my hands under my T-shirt that she’s wearing to wrap them around her ribcage. “You could never be like her. You’ve already shown me you’re not her.”
When she furrows her eyebrows in confusion, I sigh. My stubborn girl isn’t going to let me get away with giving her half-assed answers. Why am I not surprised?
“She used me. All she wanted was my money. She lied constantly and manipulated me. Everything about her was fake. I was blind and stupid. I was also just coming up in the ranks ofthe mafia and focused on that, so I missed the signs. It wasn’t until I walked in on her fucking some other guy in my house—a guy she used my money to buy a car for—that I pulled my head out of my ass.”