Page 44 of When Night Falls
So, in the light of doing this for me, and not for him or for us or for anyone else, I will see this through. Because the one thing I refuse to allow myself is to live with another regret, even if it means I have to continue living in darkness.
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her soul to take
Rivian
She is willing to let me take what she knows most, basic human life, and turn into a ruin of death, all for the thirst of revenge.
Part of me hates that I'm allowing her to think that all she's getting out of this is the hope that she can exact punishment on those who have wronged her; I can feel that she wants more from this than just that. Does that mean I am developing a soft spot for her? Maybe. But seeing her in doubt when she found her way back to me had something pulling at myinsufferableheart strings. It gave me a glimpse into how much she desiresmore. Which told me that maybe she was considering this arrangement for more than just revenge, until I gave her doubt and filled her head with only one purpose for wanting this marriage.
Though, if I can't shake these feelings I'm having toward her—feelings that seem to go deeper than that of the tether—then I'm going to be one worse-for-wear vampire king.
When I led her into my office—our hands laced together—she absentmindedly ran her thumb along my own, and I nearly buckled at her touch.Idon’t buckle.
The way it lit tiny fires as she gently dragged her thumb up and down my skin. I hated it. I was so close to pushing her away just to free myself of the torture. But I let her hold on, knowing that she sought comfort in a situation that should be rather daunting and dangerous for someone like her. Knowing that I'm the one putting her in that line of danger. Knowing that I crave her touch and fear it all the same.
It’s been hours since that moment. I told her to head back home and wait for me to come get her, giving her time to gather the rest of her belongings before she moved in.
"I see you've already started wedding planning?" Troy pops into my bathroom without knocking. She leans her shoulder against the door frame with her arms crossed at her chest as she unabashedly stares down the seamster measuring me for my tux.
"I don't see a reason to wait any longer." I slide out of the suit jacket. "She's accepted her fate and I have duties to fulfill. Time is of the essence, little sister."
"So proper, Sir Duquesne." Troy bows her head at me sarcastically, waving her hands in the air for dramatic effect.
"I guess you don't know about the secret agenda in this kingdom then. I forget how peasants aren't privileged to that kind of knowledge." I speak jocularly, intending to leave her oblivious to the truth behind my words.
"Peasant? I have the same blood as you, Rivian. Even if it is justhalf." She rolls her eyes at me.
And even though I know she believes that we're joking, I feel a slight sting of regret in my chest at the joke I had just made. It was a poor attempt at humor and in the event that she mighthold onto my words later and let it stir unfavorable emotions in her, I decide to apologize.
"You're right, forgive me. I didn't mean to belittle you." I take it back because I know how it feels to be toldsomethingisn't good enough. I've seen my mother get banished because she wasn't good enough. I've seen Lucynda get abused because she wasn't good enough. I’ve been told thatIwasn’t good enough. And the last thing I want to do is make Troy feel small and make her despise me.
"Apology accepted." She flashes a smile my way which makes me feel more at ease. "Now let's talk about the real reason you're rushing this marriage." Troy throws her hands on her hips as if she's ready to start an argument with me.
Bad choice, she knows I never lose.
"And what might that be, in your so humble opinion?" I entertain her topic of choice, allowing the seamster to tie up his last few measurements before turning from the reflection of Troy in the mirror, to meeting her face to face.
"That you're scared she'll change her mind."
"Kind of like you did the other night?" I argue back, letting her know that I did not miss her disappearance at the party I had asked her to prioritize.
"I didn't even think you'd notice. Those parties are mainly just so you Nocturnes can get their fix safely,Vinculumor not, they're just glorified social gatherings." I raise slight concern at the idea that my sister would consider a party worthless. Especially one of tradition, seeing as she's never been defiant of the Society's traditions before. But also because this girl loves trouble.
"The fact that you even thought for a second Iwouldn'tnoticeis a true testament to how much slack I cut you, Troy. Maybe I need to keep a closer eye on you." She doesn't miss the chance to roll her eyes at me again.
"Let's get one thing straight," she points her finger at me playfully, "you may be able to pull the possessive card on your new little dolly, but on me, it won't fly, big bro."
I chuckle at her attempt to stand up to me. She tries to best me, to get me to loosen the leash I seem to have on her, but twenty-five or not, she is my little sister and I swore to look after her. My word or my life.
"You know I've been meaning to ask you about your little run in with her." I look to change the subject, walking over to the bay window. "Howdidthat go,Troian?"
She crosses her arms once more, this time pulling more attitude than before.
"About the same as your run in with her at the masquerade,Rivian. Heard you about scared her to death. The poor girl has no idea what's in store for her, does she? Do you really want a run-away bride before you even get a chance to propose to her?"
That gets my attention. I pull away from the window and give my sister a stern glance.