Page 215 of The Grand Duel
THIRTY-NINE
Charlie
Ipark my car on a side street and walk to The Nightingale, standing on the opposite side of the road as I wait for Lissie.
I never thought I’d lose the need to walk inside of those doors and indulge in mindless sex.
The fact I’ve only realised how little I’ve thought about the club until standing in front of it now says a lot.
I’ve not missed it.
Mostly because Lissie hasn’t given me a chance to.
I’ve not been able to stop thinking about the way she touched me on the porch. How it made me feel and how there wasn’t a second of hesitation in my mind that it was what I wanted.
It’s more than that, though. It’s how she went about touching me. Testing my boundaries so carefully in a way I despise and yet appreciate. Knowing it’s new and not pushing, despite how much I wish she would—how badly I need her to push me further.
I never knew I’d want or need to change the way I lived my life, the idea of it a month ago would have felt impossible, but now?
It feels easy.
And not because it’s not new and terrifying and I have no idea how to navigate a relationship, but because of her. My Lissie girl. Who will stand in front of me naked from a shower with not one single expectation, just a hand held out. Who will pen the notes that fall from her brilliant mind with the only goal to make my day run smoother. And it’s that. That lack of reasoning or knowledge of how much she’s changing me without even meaning or wanting to.
I put off telling Lissie about our night at the club because I wasn’t ready to share that part of my life with anyone, but also, if I let myself truly think about it, I think I wanted her to knowme. Not the man who was with her in the club, or even the man I’m standing here pretending to be now, but the man lost beneath it all.
I was wrong and stupid not to give her the opportunity to try to understand it all.
To understand me.
Because ironically, I think she might.
She appears from the club with her head down, her focus on her phone. I wonder what it is that has her attention, but then her head lifts, and she looks right at me.
She tries for a smile, but it dies somewhere on her lips.
Her steps don’t falter as she makes her way towards me, crossing the road with what I think might be urgency.
When she reaches me, she steps straight into my chest and wraps her arms around my waist. “Tired, Lissie girl?”
She nods.
Which would be fine if she wasn’t the most talkative woman I’ve ever met.
I swallow back the aching worry rising in my throat and take hold of her chin, tilting her head up. “You called earlier than I expected. What’s wrong?”
Her eyes shine, a gleam in them that I’m almost certain wasn’t there when she crossed the road.
She swallows, the yellow flecks in her brown eyes glittering, making them glow. I frown. “Who made you sad, Lis?”
“Can we go home?”
My body stiffens as a spear of heat is blasted throughout my chest. “Is it someone in the club?” I take a step back, ready to walk around her and cross the road.
“No. No, it’s nothing to do with the club. I just want to go home.” She puts her hand on my chest. “Or with you. I just want to be with you right now.”
I run my hand up her arm and cover her hand, entangling her cold fingers with mine. “Did someone hurt you?”
She shakes her head quickly, and the knot in my gut loosens, but then she swallows again, forcing a smile. “Not physically,” she says, as if trying to pacify me.