Page 214 of The Grand Duel
She huffs a laugh. “I thought you’d ignore me forever.”
My frown is pained. “I just needed a couple days. Are you okay? How’s Will? I got paid yesterday, did you get the money okay?”
“Willow’s good. She’s with Janie and Robbo tonight.” Joe’s parents. “About the money, Lissie. You don’t have to send so much. Or…well, any really. I know we have lots to talk about, but I have money. We both do.”
I push my tongue into the front of my teeth as my eyes burn.
“I don’t get the point in working ourselves to the bone to live when we have our inheritance. It was so nice spending time with Mum, Lissie. She was?—”
“Did she apologise to you?” I interrupt, loving my sister to pieces but hating how she can be so fickle. “Has she said sorry for the way she treated you and Will?”
“She’s sorry, Lissie.”
I shake my head, my smile a dam I put up to stop the tears. “That’s bullshit.”
“It’s my choice. You can’t tell me I shouldn’t live off the money or give Willow the opportunity of knowing them because you’re still mad. No, I don’t mean?—”
“Still mad? Jovie, you know…you know the things that happened and why I feel the way that I do.”
“I didn’t mean…I know it’s hard for you, Lis.”
“This isn’t even about me, though. This is about two people who refuse to acknowledge their shitty behaviour.” I grit my teeth, hating myself for being so cold. For not being able to let it go for Jovie’s sake. For Willow’s. “I know you love them. I love them. They’re our parents. Regardless of all of it, Jove, I love them. But the second you let them back in without unpacking every inch of the reason we left, you make them think it’s okay.”
“I don’t think they think it’s okay.”
“Then why can’t they apologise? Why is talking about any of it so triggering forthem?”
“I don’t know, Lissie. I’m just doing what I think is the right thing. I know they weren’t good parents to us growing up and that things happened to you that I will never fully understand, but if you gave them a chance to fix their mistakes?—”
I sit up, my tears covering my face. “Don’t ask me to want what you want. I promised you I’d be here, and I will be. Always. I can support you and Will?—”
“You don’t need to. That’s the point. I don’t need you to when I have?—”
“Your inheritance. I know.”
“Lissie, please. I’m so sorry. I love you. I just miss being a family.”
I shake my head, knowing that what she remembers of a family is only what I made sure she had. Maybe she doesn’t fully understand what happened to me, she was young, but she knows enough.
“You need to do what you want to do and know that I will be here regardless, okay? You need to make that decision for yourself and Will.” I wipe at my face. “I’m angry because it stings. I can’t lie about how I feel no matter how much I wish I could. But I love you. There’s not much else that can be said beyond that.”
“I feel like there’s a wedge between us. I’m sorry for not telling you.”
More tears fall, and I try to hide it from my voice. “There’s not a wedge between us.”
When the line goes quiet, neither one of us having anything to say, I know I have to hang up. My baby sister, who I’ve spent the last three years speaking to on the phone every day until one of us falls asleep, and we have nothing to say.
“I need to get ready for work. I’ll call in a couple days.”
“I’ll call tomorrow,” she promises.
“Okay.”
“Bye, Lis. I love you.”
I nod, knowing I have to say it but not trusting myself. “You too.”
I hang up, dropping the phone to the bed as I cover my face and cry.