Page 224 of The Grand Duel

“I know I need to explain, but I don’t really know where to begin.”

“You don’t need to explain anything. Not if you don’t want to.”

“I know that. But you keep giving me pieces, and after tonight, I think it’s only right that you know.”

He nods, a frown pulled between his brows.

“I can’t promise you I won’t cry again. I’ve never told anyone but Jovie about what happened, and even then, I left the really bad parts out.”

He swallows and places his drink on the ground beside him.

I blow out a rush of air and start slap bang in the middle of the chaos. “Remember I told you my parents were arrested for child neglect when I was eleven years old?”

He nods.

“Well, it was because we’d been left on our own for four days.”

Charlie’s face turns to stone, and I drop my eyes to Luna, my hand trembling as I stroke over her back.

“It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t have been a problem—I had done it for years and could look after us both, but then I went and fell down the stairs.” I bite down on my lip when a wave of emotion hits me square in the chest. “Sorry.”

“Lissie,” he pleads, but I can’t look at him.

“I was there for six hours before my parents came home and found me. Jovie was only seven, and I told her that she couldn’t call anyone for help. Back then I was terrified that if she called someone, they’d take us away, and I’d already looked up what could happen to us if my parents were ever found to be leaving us home alone. My parents weren’t even in the country, or they were on their way home at the time, so I knew there wasn’t any way they could help…” I swipe at my eyes. “I had some awful injuries, mostly internal, past the bruises on my body. I was placed in an induced coma whilst the swelling on my brain went down and then underwent multiple surgeries to mend tears on my spleen and…and a large tear on my womb.”

I stare at Luna’s back, not daring to look at the man sitting next to me.

“I didn’t blame them. Not really—not at that point,” I say, my eyes glazing over. “My mum was actually there for me,comforting me, after years of thinking I was old enough to fend for myself. My dad not so much. He was in full damage control. I remember thinking my mum had changed, but now, looking back, I can see that she was trying to fix her image by playing the doting mother just as much as he was by making it all go away quietly.”

I take a second, pulling in a deep breath, not knowing if I’ll even be able to say the next part out loud.

“I, um…” I stare at Luna, my thoughts lost to my mum. “The surgeries on my womb were successful—to an extent. My parents had private doctors that were willing to monitor me for months to ensure I’d get back on my feet. But then I started getting my monthly period, and it was awful. For years I’d have irregular, painful periods that would put me in bed for days. I was young, too—just twelve.” Tears drip down my face, and in the blur of them all, I see him, Charlie, on his knees beside me. “They took me to their doctor eventually under the promise that they’d make them stop. That they’d take the pain away. I was fourteen and terrified, and I didn’t know what it all meant. Not really, anyway.” I sniffle. “They…they had me sterilised.”

I look up with tears covering my cheeks to find Charlie frozen at my side, his face deathly pale and sad.

“It didn’t stop my periods, but it did help with them. To this day, I don’t know why or what they even truly did to me during that time. It wasn’t until I became sexually active at sixteen that I found out about the sterilisation. I was trying to be responsible and asked to be put on birth control, but it wasn’t necessary for me. I’ve tried to have it reversed.” I shake my head as my chin trembles, my words breaking apart. “I tried to have it reversed, but my tubes were a mess, and it wasn’t successful.”

I’m enveloped in strong arms, everything I kept at bay, a secret, for the past eight years unravelling at my feet.

“I know this will change things. I’m sorry I never told you sooner.” Tears run down over my lips. “I’ve never told anyone. I didn’t think you wanted?—”

He pulls back, gripping my face as he stares down at me.

It’s only now that I see the tears on his face.

“This changes nothing.”

I shake my head, frowning. “You can’t say?—”

He shakes his head, his voice a low, hard warning. “This. Changes. Nothing.” His thumbs swipe over my cheeks, my lips. “Not for us.”

I fall forward into his chest, my tears streaming down my face.

“Lissie baby, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Charlie

I stare up at the house through my windscreen, my eyes still gleaming.