Page 247 of The Grand Duel

I want to scream and cry and let the world know how unfair this is.

A baby.

He could be a dad.

The one thing I can never make him.

And that kills me inside.

It makes me want to run.

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes full and my heart broken as I lift my hand, smoothing it over the back of Charlie’s neck. I pull him forward, wrapping my arms around him.

I run my hand though his hair as he sniffs, the sound of him crying making it impossible to remain steadfast. And I’m trying. I’m trying so hard for him right now.

For us.

I just never thought I’d meet a man like Charles, and for a minute, for the first time in my life, I almost felt like I might be enough.

A tear betrays me, and I lift my head, blinking over and over, trying to stop any more from spilling.

“Lis,” he chokes out. “I’m sorry.”

I shake my head in defiance, trying to block out everything that’s burning inside of me. Everything that hurts. “It’s okay,” I tell him, catching and then locking eyes with Mason in the rearview mirror.

His jaw is taut, eyes shining.

“It’s going to be okay,” I promise.

Charlie told me to leave dinner, and he’d order something in for us, but sitting on the sofa with my emotions barely in check isn’t how I want to spend my evening.

I’m stirring a tomato sauce on the cooker when he comes down the stairs from his shower. He’s topless, his joggers dark and baggy. I force a small smile, pretending the wobble in my throat isn’t there as I swallow around it.

“Tea won’t be long,” I tell him.

He nods, walking around the kitchen, the sadness around his puffy eyes and the way his steps aren’t sure making my insides feel like they’re being shredded.

He comes to stand beside me, the thickness in the air making it hard to breathe.

“Can I hug you?”

I lift my chin, looking up at him. I shake my head and push up onto my tiptoes, kissing him. “I love you, Charles.”

His eyes close, his chest sagging as he lets out a tortured sigh.

I wrap my arms around his neck, squeezing my eyes tight once his arms envelop me.

He kisses my neck, his lips wet from what I can guess is more tears.

“Charlie,” I plead, pulling back.

I wipe them away.

“I’ve hurt you, Lis. You’re the most important thing in my life, and I’ve hurt you.” He shakes his head. “I can’t stand it. That I’ve made you feel like this.”

I don’t let him validate my emotions. I can’t. “This isn’t anyone’s fault. Nobody planned this. There’s still a chance it’s not your child, Cha?—”

“And if it is? What then?” he asks, voice cracking.