Page 87 of One More Chance

Harper

Wakingup this morning alone isn’t how I imagined I would be starting my day. I listen for Jensen to see if he’s in the bathroom or his closet. I stand and peek into his office but he’s not there either. I walk back to the bed and there’s a note on the side table.

Had to get to work

but didn’t want to wake you.

You looked so peaceful.

XO

Since I’ve been here,I’ve never woken up alone. Jensen always wakes me up to kiss me goodbye and I always get to tell him to have a good day. This is weird. Certainly out of the ordinary at least. Then again, can I really call out patterns after a week? Maybe I’m reading too much into it. Tonight is our last night together and I don’t want to ruin it by being whiny or accusing him of anything. There’s no need for it.

Shaking off these feelings, I head back upstairs to shower and start my day. I want to go shopping for a couple of things to make tonight truly special. Because the reality is, I might never see him again. Not like this.

To hold onto hope that our paths will cross again is probably unhealthy at best. At worst, it creates the opportunity for pain. I don’t need an unhealthy obsession or a chest full of pain all over again. I barely survived the last one.

With all these thoughts running through my head, I pause. Did I wash my hair yet?

I lather shampoo for what I’m pretty sure is a second time and decide to give my shower some focus long enough to get through the routine. I get out, dry off, dress, and rush through my hair and makeup so I can get going.

As I walk downstairs, I grab the film from my camera so I can get it developed while I’m out. I’ve been taking pictures the entire trip and made sure to snap plenty of our time together. It’s one of the surprises I have brewing for Jensen.

Out on the sidewalk, I decide to put this whole mess of thoughts I’m having behind me and only focus on now. Seems I’m doing a lot of that. There’s plenty of time to sort my head out later.

For now, I have to keep my focus on here.

* * *

I arrive backto the loft after a few hours. That took so much longer than I anticipated, but I’m back before Jensen and that’s all that matters. I slip the photos I had developed into frames. There’s five of them. I considered more but it felt like too much. Just as I’m placing the last photo, a thought occurs to me. Is this... problematic?

Giving a man framed photos seems like it sends a message. The wrong message. Crap, I didn’t think this through. No. You know what, it’s fine. He’ll understand my intention. Of course, now I feel like once he moves on and starts dating someone, what the hell is he going to do with them? Shit. Just shit, fuck, and hell. I press my fingers to my temples, willing myself not to worry this much. It’s just a few pictures. No big deal.

In my moment of panic, I pick up my phone and text Cora. She’s his sister, she’ll know what to do. She knows him.

Me:I need your help.

Cora:Is everything okay?

Me:Yeah. I mean sort of.

Cora:Are you and Jensen all right?

Me:Yes, of course. We’re fine. Well, I mean okay, I framed some of the pics I took to give him.

Cora:Okay? That’s good right?

Me:I don’t know. Is it? Will it be weird?

Cora:Um, no? I think you’re overthinking this one.

Me:Right, but what happens when he dates someone new?

Cora:Maybe he doesn’t want to date anyone new?

Me:Technically we aren’t dating. I mean when he does.

Cora:Honey, you can call what you’re doing whatever you want. But it’s dating. You’re dating.