Page 89 of Hotter 'N Hell

“So, he has told you about her,” his tone sounded almost accusatory.

I didn’t reply. I hadn’t thought about how it would appear if I knew who she was. Had he walked me into that trap?

“And my parents are here. To see him. So, he’s shut you out.”

Panic slowly eased in over the pain. What did Crow know about Jude and me? What had he seen?

“I don’t think he’s treated me any differently than he has anyone else.” I wished that lie had sounded more believable.

Crow raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly forward. “Yeah, that might work with someone who hasn’t known Jude since he was fourteen.”

No, no, no. He couldn’t know anything.

I shook my head. “Jude is a priest, and he can’t do whatever you’re thinking. That’s not it.”

He blew out a breath, as if his sigh was too heavy. “You’re a beautiful woman. Those eyes and dimples. Heck, the lips too. You’re a stunner, Saylor, but you know that. A man might be a priest, but he still has eyes. You showed up, and Jude couldn’t stop looking. From the way you two have been throwing off pheromones so thick that I could smell them across the damnroom, I’d say there are some vows he has broken or he’s about to break.”

I shook my head. No matter how much pain and agony I was going to suffer through because of Jude’s dismissal of me, I didn’t want him to lose what he cherished most. It would be his destruction.

“You misunderstood.”

“No,” he said, “I didn’t. And I’m not here to accuse you of anything. I’m here to tell you something. Simply because I can’t stand the thought of that pretty smile being replaced with the look on your face right now. So, before it goes any further, you need to know that Jude loved my sister like no love I’ve ever seen before and I doubt I will again. He adored her. He had older girls—hot, popular girls—throwing themselves at him. The guy’s always had that face. He ignored them all. No one but Delana. When she got sick, he was there daily. He gave up baseball and football for her. He gave up everything to be by her side. And when she died, that part of him went with her.” He shook his head. “I’ll never forget the emptiness in his eyes as he stood there, watching her be lowered into the ground.”

I had already heard enough of this from Jude. Why did I have to be tormented with more? Was it not enough that I’d fallen in love with a man who could never love me in return?

“He’s told me all this,” I said, wanting him to shut up. Go away.

“That’s surprising, but then maybe not. Jude puts her first, above everything. Even in her death. He gave his life to God because he didn’t see another path without Delana. And now, he’s a man, who sees a face that is impossible to resist. He might act like a man, but his heart is off-limits, and you deserve to be loved.”

Tears burned my eyes as my throat closed up. I wanted to scream.

Why did this one thing have to keep being hammered over myhead?

I got it! I am not enough. I understand.

“I know,” I replied. “Trust me, I know.”

A pained expression touched his eyes. “I didn’t tell you this to hurt you. I was trying to warn you to stop that from happening.”

I sniffled and wiped at my eyes. “Too late. But then I wouldn’t have listened.”

Not wanting this man to see me cry, I turned and walked away. There was nothing he could tell me that I didn’t already know. It wouldn’t change a thing. The damage was done.

Thirty-Five

Jude

One hundred twenty-nine unread text messages, two hundred five calls that rang continuously with no answer. I was unraveling. I hadn’t gotten any sleep. It felt like a wrecking ball had gone straight through my chest.

The desperation in her blue eyes as she had pleaded with me silently, my having to ignore it, shut her out, then seeing her heart breaking right there in front of me, had shattered me in ways I hadn’t known I could break. I reached up and ran a hand over my face. She had walked away, the light gone from her eyes, devastation replacing it, and I’d had to excuse myself to go vomit in the bathroom. Heaving from the unbearable pain of what I’d had to do. Everything in me screamed to go after her, but I couldn’t.

I had been faced with a choice. Someone had to be hurt. My decision would cause devastation either way. If I chose her, thenI betrayed Delana, her parents, the parish, and God. If I let her go…only two hearts were broken.

Thirty-Six

Saylor

Gathe moved into the booth beside me, sliding another dirty martini with three olives in front of me. “All right, Princess, this is number five. I’m gonna be carrying you out of here tonight, it seems.”