Page 12 of Counting the Stars
I purchased Stinky shortly before I began nursing school, which I paid for with my family’s small life insurance policy and the class action lawsuit. It wasn’t a ton of money, and I’d give every cent back to have my family whole again.Even though I came into a bit of money at a young age, I still chose to be conservative with my spending. The settlement wouldn’t keep me afloat for long. So I stayed in a small one-bedroom apartment furnished with items from a local thrift shop, cooked meals at home, and bought a used car, also known as Stinky.
Stinky is a Honda Civic from the early 2000s and has seen better days. When I first purchased the sedan, it had a strong scent of pine, but within a week, I discovered that was just a cover-up. There were little tree-shaped air fresheners tucked into every nook and cranny of the interior. Once those began to fade, the real reason the car was such a good deal became clear. Stinky has a permanent smell of garlic and despite the many washes and shampoos, it just won’t go away. Luckily, the smell stays within the vehicle and doesn’t transfer to my clothes or anything I keep in it. Despite the odor and normal wear and tear, Stinky is a solid car and has gotten me safely from point A to point B for years.
“It still blows my mind that you drove from Arizona to Oregon all by yourself.” Alex leans against Stinky, shaking his head.
“It really wasn’t that bad,” I reason. “I only drove during daylight hours and made sure I stopped frequently and in well-lit public places.”
“It never would have happened if I knew you then. I would’ve gone with you just to make sure you were safe.”
I smile to myself, knowing Alex definitely would have been my copilot if we knew each other back then. The total drive was a little over a thousand miles and took about three days. It may have seemed like a drastic move, but I needed a fresh start. My mental health was beginning to take a toll on me whenever I drove past places that brought up memories, no matter how happy they were.
Having no specific destination in mind, I applied to hospitals all over the United States. Starboard Beach was the first to get back to me, and I jumped at the opportunity. I found Michelle through a wanted ad and interviewed with her over a video chat. Since her condo was fully furnished, I got rid of most of my belongings and only took the essentials, which fit into Stinky’s trunk and back seat.
I wasn’t even nervous about starting over. I figured if I didn’t like my job or the town, I’d just pack up Stinky and go somewhere else. I never expected to fall in love with all things Starboard Beach.
“I’m glad I didn’t know you then,” I tease. “You are the worst back-seat driver I’ve ever met.”
“I do not back-seat drive. I simply offer my expertise and wisdom that no one seems to appreciate. Also, I’m mad at you.” His tone holds no anger.
“For what? Interrupting your shower, or making you break into my car again?”
“I don’t care about those things. I’m more upset that I saw a napkin from Whips in your cupholder. Why did you go without me?”
“First, you tell me you wouldn’t have allowed me to drive up here alone and now you’re upset that I went to Whips without you. You’re getting a little bossy there, huh?” I cross my arms over my chest and try to look stern. It’s hard to act serious around a man who basically has the same personality as a golden retriever.
“Well, excuse me for caring about your safety.” Alex dramatically throws his hands up in the air. “Honestly, I’m a little more upset about missing out on Whips.”
Whips is Starboard Beach’s favorite place to grab a sweet treat. They are famous for their unique flavors of whipped cream piled high on top of a scoop of ice cream.
“You weren’t around and Aly had a craving for mint chocolate chip ice cream with strawberry whipped cream.” The truth is, I did feel a little guilty about going to one of Alex’s favorite places without him, but he was at work and it would’ve been a melty mess if I had brought something back for him. I know because I’ve tried it before.
“That…does not sound appetizing.” He pushes off my car door and begins walking back toward our building.
“She swore it was the best thing she’s ever eaten.” I shrug and follow him. “Although the other day I caught her dipping pickles into a jar of peanut butter, so you might want to take her opinion with a grain of salt.”
“Will do. It’s so crazy to think that a year ago, Jax and Aly were arguing over who got the one lane in the pool and now they’re married and having a baby.”
“Yeah, I’m so happy for them. They’re going to be amazing parents.”
“Does seeing them together make you think about settling down and having a family of your own one day?” We reach the front of our building and Alex holds the door open for me.
“Umm…” I hesitate. “I don’t think that’s in the future for me.”
If you had asked me this question over a decade ago, my answer would’ve been completely different. I wanted to grow up and have the type of life my parents had, the type of love they shared with my sister and me. My heart longs for the holidays, movie nights, and family dinners. But opening myself up to love also exposes me to the possibility of more tragedy. I just can’t take that risk, especially with someone as incredible as Alex.
7
Alex
Tossing and turning, I throw my blanket back and grab my phone to check the time…nearly 3:00 a.m.—great. I’ve been lying here for hours trying to sleep. Sometimes I’m so physically tired after a shift that I don’t even remember crawling into bed. Other times, I can’t turn my mind off no matter how much energy I expend.
Today, I received a call from my mom. My parents’ forty-fifth wedding anniversary is coming up and they want to celebrate with the entire family, which means I’ll need to make an appearance. I haven’t been back to my hometown since the holidays, so I’m definitely overdue for a visit. And truly, a forty-five-year marriage that produced seven children and nine grandchildren is something to honor.
I love my family. They’re good people who are respected among the community, but there has been a rift between us ever since I moved away. All my siblings and their families live within a twenty-mile radius of each other. I’m the only one who moved three hours away. Far enough for people not toknow me, yet close enough to visit for special occasions. I just couldn’t stand living my life in a fishbowl.
Through the wall, I hear the sounds of shuffling and a bed angrily squeaking. I guess Gabby is having a rough night too. I grab my phone and type out a text.
Me: Are you fighting off an alligator over there?