Page 124 of PS: I Hate You
But that doesn’t make them right.
And I don’t have to listen to this.
With a jerky move, I stand from my chair.
“Don’t contact me again,” I tell her. “If you do, I will post online all of the horrible things you just said to me. I doubt your followers will be very impressed that you bully your daughter.”
She gasps, but I don’t stay around to hear whatever convoluted defense she comes up with for herself.
And as I walk on shaky legs back to my job, I try not to internalize her criticism. But I can’t hear my voice in my own head. Only hers. I need something to drown out the toxic noise.
I know it’s the middle of his workday, but I still dial Dom’s number as I hide out in the stairwell. I don’t plan on climbing them, but I figure with the elevator working this is likely as much privacy as I can hope for.
The phone rings four times before going to his voicemail. Not wanting to worry him, I leave a quick message. “Hey! Just wanted to say hi. Feel free to ignore this. I’m sure we’ll talk later.” I hang up.
“You followed the three of them everywhere…annoying your brother and his friends…”
But I don’t annoy Dom. He said…In Idaho he said…
I grit my teeth as I try to pull up the beautiful memory, but I only see Dom and Rosaline pulling into the driveway of my childhood home, and Josh sprinting out the front door to hop in the back seat of the car. They drove away, and I hid in my bedroom, wishing I could go with them. The three of them were best friends.
I don’t need to cling to them.My thumb shakes as I swipe through my contacts and find another number.
Jeremy picks up on the second ring. “Thank god you called. My eyes are going to start bleeding if I stare at my screen any longer.”
The greeting immediately relaxes an unforgiving band I hadn’t realized was tightening around my lungs. I breathe easier and manage a not-too-strained voice. “How did I know you needed me? We must have a psychic connection.”
“I’ve always thought so. What am I thinking now?”
More tension in my body loosens as I lean against the cold concrete wall. “Hmm. You’re thinking that you want to binge a new K-drama and eat too much Gouda tonight with me.”
“Amazing. You should have your own circus act with skills like that.” I can hear the smile in my friend’s voice and find comfort in how quickly he signs on to spending time with me.
“You need to pull your weight, sir,” I mock scold him. “Dessert duty.”
“Of course. I’m feeling cannoli. I’m also feeling…” He pauses, and I try not to read into the hesitation. “I’m feeling like you’re upset about something.”
Damn him. Why does he have to be so perceptive?
I clutch the front of my sweater to try to stop the shaking in my hand. Briefly, I consider lying to him. But after the awkward meeting between him and Dom, I’ve been trying to be more honest. Even about uncomfortable things.
“It’s just some drama with my mom. Stuff I’d rather not dwell on.”
Jeremy’s voice is gentle this time. “Okay. I get that. We don’t have to talk about it.” He clears his throat. “But we can,” he offers. “If you want to.”
“I don’t.” I want to forget. “But thank you.”
Jeremy doesn’t take offense to my dismissal, and we set up a time for him to arrive at my place.
Later, when I’m at my desk trying to find the laser focus I had before, my phone rings with Dom’s name. I ignore the call in favor of texting him that I’m trying to finish up my work for the day and I won’t be able to chat later because of my plans with Jeremy.
No reason to feel guilty,I assure myself.I’ll see him in a week.
Everything will be better then.
Chapter
Thirty-Seven