Page 70 of A Wish for Us

“No, he’s not.” She bumped my arm. “But the way he was fighting for you, didn’t want to leave you, tells me everything I need to know. Obstacles in life sometimes make you look at the world in ways you never did before.”

“And what did it tell you?”

“That he’s fallen for you.”

I stared at my mama and shook my head. “I’m not sure that’s quite true. He can be cold and rude, even cruel at times…” But then I thought of howhe held me last night. How he was so gentle. How he checked that I was okay. And I wondered…

“Yet despite it all, you’ve fallen for him.” Mama got up and kissed me on the head, leaving me sitting in silence on the piano stool. “Your papa is bringing your things in now.”

“Okay,” I said, as if by rote.

“Bonnie?” Mama asked. I looked up. “Do you want me to tell Easton?”

Fear of telling him left me paralyzed. But I shook my head, knowing it had to come from my lips. “I’ll tell him,” I said and felt the weight of the world bear down on me. Because the thought of Easton’s reaction scared me more than the heart failure itself.

* * *

“Bonn?” Easton walked into the office that was now my bedroom with a look of confusion on his face. He saw my piano and my bed. The walls, the carpet. He stopped dead. He was still wearing his clothes from last night. He must have come straight from Charleston. “What’s going on?”

I could tell by the look of apprehension on his face that he already had an idea. “Come and sit by me,” I said, patting the bed.

“No,” he said, his voice tight. He started breathing deeply. “Just tell me, Bonn. Please…” The fear in his voice almost destroyed me.

I stared at him. At his long blond hair and bright blue eyes. “I wasn’t in England this summer for a music seminar, East.” He stood still and listened. “I was there seeing a team of doctors about my heart.” His nose flared. I needed to just tell him quickly. “There’s nothing more to be done, East.” I inhaled, forcing myself not to break. “My heart is failing.”

It was slow, but second by strained second, Easton’s face contorted into one that was racked with pain. “No,” Easton said.

“I’m on the transplant list. But I’ve had to move home. My body is getting weak, East. I’m deteriorating fast. It made sense to come home so I’m safe.” I didn’t add the list of possible threats that came with heart failure. He knew them as well as I did. Both of us were too terrified to say them aloud.

“How long?” he asked, voice hoarse, thick with emotion.

“I don’t know. The doctors don’t give a specific time frame, but—”

“How long?” he asked, more panicked.

“Maybe three months. Two at the least, four if I’m lucky. Though it could be sooner.” I got off the bed. Easton stayed where he was, like he was soldered to the floor. I stood before my twin, my best friend, and put my hands on his arms. “But a heart might turn up, East. We have to pray that one comes.”

Easton stared down at me, but his stare was vacant. “East.” I tried to put my hand on his face. Easton moved back, and back again, until he ran out of my room. I tried to chase after him but he was too quick. He burst through the front door and out into his waiting truck.

“East,” I tried to shout as I watched him pull away, tires screeching, onto the road, but fatigue stole my voice. My mama was behind me, a worried expression on her face. But I didn’t say anything. I was too tired.

No matter how much sleep I had of late, no amount would ever make me feel replenished. And after last night, after staying up with Cromwell, and telling both him and Easton today, I was wiped out.

I climbed under my comforter and laid my head down on my pillow. I closed my eyes and blocked everything out but the will to sleep.

It wasn’t a surprise that the image of Cromwell’s face managed to sneak through.“I don’t want to go,”I heard his voice say.

It made me smile. Because as much as I prayed I’d be strong enough for the battle ahead, having Cromwell along with me made the task that much less daunting.

I felt like I was in a waking dream when he held my hand. When his soft lips brushed against mine and I heard him play the piano so perfectly beside me. In such a short time, the memories he had given me had become the most treasured in my weak heart.

And it would be these memories, and the ghost of his lips against mine, that would inspire me to fight that much harder.

Chapter Seventeen

Cromwell

I banged on the door of Lewis’s office, rocking on my feet as adrenaline rushed through me. Last night I hadn’t slept for shit. I wanted to text Bonnie. Call her and hear her voice, but I had left her alone. I wanted her; I knew she wanted me. But I had to find a way to make her realize sheneededme. Because as I’d lain there awake, staring at the ceiling, I knew I wasn’t giving her up.