Page 15 of Wicked Knight
“One thing at a time, Mackenzie.” The gentleness in Isabelle’s voice calms me.
“Okay. One thing at a time.”
“Focus on what you’re going to say to Dmitri.”
“I have been. I just have not to chicken out when the time comes. And hope that he doesn’t try to avoid me more than usual.” I gripe, rolling onto my front so I don’t have to look through the window. It’s a minor attempt to erase Dmitri from my thoughts. Out of sight, out of mind.
“Don’t give him the chance to avoid you.”
“Easier said than done. Why do you think this whole thing has stretched out so long? I’ve been planning to speak to him since the week I found out about the contract. The closest I got was at the frat party before the summer break.” Dmitri was within my grasp, but a hoard of football groupies rushed him. I never saw him again after that.
Summer happened, and I've only survived the angst of waiting because of the show, which comes to an end this week.
I’ve felt that he should have been the one to try and see me. Not me chasing him. It’s not like he doesn’t know where to find me. I, on the other hand, never knew where or when he may pop up.
If not for Raventhorn and the connections we have among our friends, I’d probably never see him.
“Stay positive, and it should be simple. You’ll see him next week and make him release you from the contract. Be firm and confident in your demand. Unless…” Her tone lowers to a tentative tenor.
“Unless what?”
“Well, I Just wondered if maybe…maybethis contract could be a way for you guys to have a chance to be together. It’s just a hypothetical thought.”
My mind stills with the same thought that has drifted in and out of it several times over the last few months. I’ve thought about that possibility a lot, but in the same breath, I remember it would be a bad, bad, bad idea.
“Maybe he’s thinking that, too,” Isabelle adds with a smile in her voice. “What if that’s the reason he hasn’t spoken to you yet?”
“I don’t know.” Mindlessly, I grasp the hem of the pillowcase nearest to me and brush over the fine stitching. Could Isabelle be right?
What if Dmitri hasn’t spoken to me yet because he needed to wait and think?
Kyle said Dmitri wanted me. That’s not a comment to take lightly even though he’s still acting like he wants nothing to do with me. I imagine things couldn’t have been easy after his father’s appointment to Lord Chancellor. That’s reason enough to delay contacting me.
“I feel like I wouldn’t be a friend to you if I didn’t ask if you’d be open to that.” I’m not surprised she sounds hopeful. She’s always appeared to root for Dmitri and me.
“God. I don’t know,” I repeat my previous answer in a muffled tone, my voice hopeless and hollow.
“Just remember, whatever happened in the past was the past. I know the subject is sensitive, but the disagreement between your families is about them, not you or Dmitri. He didn’t do anything to you. And you didn’t do anything to him.”
She makes a good point. One I’ve often considered.
The past is a riddled web of darkness and deceit that centered around Tommy’s death. And what he may and may not have done to me. “I’ve never felt any bitterness toward Dmitri. I’ve also never blamed him for siding with his family.”
“I never thought you would.”
“I couldn’t.” Even I can admit that my father looked like he was guilty. All we have is his word that he didn’t kill Tommy. For us, it was enough.
I’ve understood why my father’s word wouldn’t beenoughfor Dmitri or his father, and not a day goes by when I don’t try to remember what happened.
I have no idea if I even know what happened or not, but deep down I’ve always felt that I have the answer. Something—anything—that could clear my father. But those memories are trapped between the void in my mind and the nightmares of shades and shadows that make no sense.
“You’re different when Dmitri is around,” Isabelle says with light playfulness. “It’s a good different.”
“Everything is different when it comes to him.”
“Then I think it’s worth exploring this a little more.” Isabelle’s voice drops to a careful whisper, tentative and encouraging, as if she wants to guide me to new possibilities.
“Like how? What do you think I should do?”