Page 26 of Fall From Grace

I hated thinking about it that way.

When the last class ended, Noah waited for me by the door before he ran to catch the bus. I didn’t speak to him this time around, I just slipped the note into his hand and hurried to Mom’s classroom. It was a little embarrassing to stick around and wait for him to read it. I had asked him to come to my room tonight and smacked my cheeks as I ran down the hall and grinned at my own bad thoughts that involved Noah and what I wanted him to do to me.

_____

I didn’t think Noah was going to come once it hit midnight. He still hadn’t shown. I waited by the window for the longest time before slipping back under my covers where it was warm. It had to be close to one when he startled me awake by sliding in next to me. His shirt and skin were chilled from the frosty night. I propped myself up on my elbow and leaned over him. “I didn’t think you were going to come.”

He breathed from his nose, “I wasn’t going to miss the chance to spend some time with you since we haven’t gotten to lately.”

“How’s your mom?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I don’t know how I expected to prevent her from doing what she wants. She takes whatever Dad brings her while I’m at school because she’s passed out on the couch when I come home. She has a new hiding place and I have no idea where they keep it… She only just now fell asleep, but I wonder if I’m even making a difference? Maybe I gave up football foolishly thinking that my parents might care if I’m right in their faces all the time instead of over here or at practice...”

“Maybe not today… But maybe one day, you’ll make a difference.”

“What do you see when you look at me?” I arched my brow at him, and he added, “Do you pity me? Is it because you thought I was living in the treehouse when we first met that you became my friend? I was always embarrassed eating over here for the longest time because I thought your mom fed me because she thought I didn’t have any.”

I placed my hand on his cheek. “I don’t know how to answer that question because the only thing I see is Noah when I look at you. I don’t see anything else. I just see my best friend. The one that promised me adventures.” I felt his smile against my palm. “As for Mom, I remember clearly how she talked to Dad about you when we first met, and you’re right, she did question and worry, maybe even pity you but,” I whispered quickly, “that is not the case with her now.”

“And your dad?” he asked slowly.

I laid back and sighed. “That’s the strangest thing, Dad seemed to be the one that wasn’t being judgmental about your appearance, yet… I don’t know what he thinks now.”

“It’s okay,” he replied quickly as if to dispel the bad vibe this conversation brought in the room. “I’ll prove he’s wrong about me.”

“You don’t have to prove anything to no one, Noah, you’re not your parents.”

“I do,” he whispered. “I have things I want in this world and if I want something, I need to know I can protect it, unlike my dad.”

That made me remember the conversation he had with his dad in front of me.

So, you have something you want to protect?

Was I the thing Noah wanted?

It made me all warm and fuzzy but at the same time, I could be acting self-centered, thinking that I was that important to Noah. He could be talking about life in general, or maybe a job he wanted when we grew up—

“Priss, you got quiet on me.” He loomed over me.

“Sorry, I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“About...” I peered around the dark room. “When you’re going to touch me again.”

“Have you touched yourself any since then?” He ran his hand over my stomach.

I nodded. His eyes should have been adjusted enough to the darkness to see that I did. “I tried, it’s not the same as when you do it. I just don’t really feel anything.”

“Sounds like you’re not trying very hard.” He bent down and blew into my ear. I laid my hand on his shoulder and pulled him in. He grabbed my breast and groaned. “No bra,” he confirmed.

“Thought it would be easier this way…”

He kissed my lips only once then dragged them down my chin onto my neck. My breath quickened as he continued downward while his hand slipped underneath my shirt and cupped my breast. I opened my mouth but no sound came out. “The light,” he said, climbing off the bed to turn on the nightlight. He climbed back on the bed and stopped himself at my knees. Instead of asking, he placed his hands at the waistband of my shorts and waited for my approval. When I nodded, he pulled them down slowly taking my panties with them.

I studied his reaction before I said, “What is it?”

“I just can’t believe I’m getting to see you like this.” His eyes burned through me.