Page 72 of Fall From Grace

Talking wasn’t working with him. I stormed away from him but he grabbed my bag to stop me and in the process, half of what was inside spilled to the ground. I sighed and bent down to pick it up while John did the same. He reached for my wallet and handed it to me. “I won’t help you destroy yourself with your addiction,” were the words I said as Dad’s truck pulled into the driveway.

I hurried to put my things in my bag and stood as Dad jumped out of the truck looking furious. “You better not have been doing what I think you’re doing,” he yelled at me as he looked to John.

“Dad,” I started.

“Are you taking money from my daughter?”

“She was only loaning me some until I got my check in a few days,” said John as he backed away. At least he was smart, but Dad came at him.

“You worthless piece of shit!” he yelled at him right before he punched him in the face. Dad was a big guy, especially compared to John who was so underweight. John fell into the cold, wet grass. “If I ever catch you on my property or around my daughter again, I’ll kill you!” Dad threatened. “In the house, Grace.” He grabbed my arm and led me into the house, tears sprang from my eyes.

Once we were inside, he slammed the door shut. “Why would you enable his drug problem? You do realize by giving him money that’s the only thing you were doing?” He looked genuinely disappointed with me and it hurt.

I dropped my head. “I know. I wasn’t going to give him money. I was heading inside.”

“How many times have you given him money?”

“He only started asking this past week.”

“Jesus, Grace,” he swore, rubbing his eyes before meeting mine with another disappointing stare. “Did Noah know about this?”

“No!” I yelled immediately. “He would have been just as upset as you.”

He shook his head. “I can’t… I just can’t allow this.”

I already knew where this was going and felt sick in my stomach. “Dad, this has nothing to do with him! Noah doesn’t even live with his dad anymore.”

He grabbed my shoulders. “This is life for Noah. This will always be the way it is for him. It’s not just Noah, it’s his family. Being with him won’t be easy. You’re young and haven’t even gotten out of this town, there’s so much out there. I want that for you. I don’t want this—if you stay with Noah, you’re taking his dad in too. I know you don’t think it’s that way, but it is. His dad coming to aggravate you for money, that’s only the beginning… He’ll always leech off his son, and Noah will never be able to cast him aside because it’s his dad and that’s just how Noah is. He’s a good kid, Grace, I know. I’ve watched him grow up but he’s not going anywhere in life.”

I pulled away from him and couldn’t look up because I knew some of his words were right. Noah had already paid his electric bill and he hadn’t even spoken to his dad in years… Noah was one of the good guys and I would always love him, no matter what.

“I love him, Dad.”

“And I love you, that’s why I can’t let you stay with him.”

“You can’t make me stay away from him.”

He turned away. “Yes, I can and I will. You’re not eighteen yet and Noah lives in a different county. This won’t work out, no matter what you believe.”

That was the way it was for Noah and me. There was always so many obstacles in the way of us being together, and the worst one had yet to come.

But when it came, I would fall to pieces… pieces even Noah might not be able to pick up.

32

Grace age 17

Noah age 17

Is it May yet? The need to be independent. The need to be closer to Grace is so strong. I’m already thinking of ways to convince her parents to let her spend nights with me once I have my apartment. The possibility of getting nights with my priss makes me so damn giddy, I got a pep in my walk.

N.P.

Dad hadn’t been kidding. When the weekend rolled around, he hovered around me mercilessly. He wasn’t going to let me hang out with Noah this weekend, or at all if this kept up. Mom didn’t agree with him, but she had been upset that I had given money to John. She wanted to tell Noah about it but I begged her not to. He also didn’t know the reason Dad was suddenly even more against me being with him and I wanted to keep it that way.

Luckily for me, Mom helped me out so that I could still see him Sunday. She convinced Dad that she was taking me to Sara’s—driving me herself so that I wasn’t going to sneak off and see Noah when she was actually taking me to meet Noah in the parking lot of Walmart. It was raining the last time I met Noah here too.

“Your dad’s going to be mad when he finds out. I’m going to tell him that I took you to see him when I get back,” she told me as she parked.