Page 81 of Fall From Grace

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She leaves, taking my hopes and dreams, my very future with her. I let her go because I think she’ll come back. I trust that I’m somehow embedded into her so deeply that she can’t stay gone too long, even with her ugly thoughts, the ones that are making her run from me.

I don’t let it eat at me like she does. If I did, then there would be no one to fight for us, and what we have, what I feel, and what I know she feels, is worth fighting for.

I’ll keep my promises.

Even when I know that she’s going to try to erase me with another guy’s touch. The very thought rips my chests open and I feel like murdering something. I still believe, no I fucking pray, that no one can ever do her like I can because I cherish every damn part of her, inside and out.

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My dad finally gave me the push I needed to leave him behind, let him go, and set myself free of my childhood. The day I found out what Grace kept from me, the fact that he had harassed her for money when we were together… I clocked him in the jaw and said the same words to him that I said to him when I was thirteen, the night Mom passed away, only this time I meant them.

I’m furious but that small bit I didn’t know, renews my faith in Grace coming back to me. She waited for me once, she looked for me, and she put up with John with no plans of telling me because she loves me.

That’s what people that love each other do. That’s not what my parents taught me, that’s what Grace shows me.

_____

I live and breathe for what Grace shows me through Facebook. With every post, every picture or status update with hidden meanings, I feel like she’s secretly reaching out and communicating. My necklace is right where it’s always been, around her neck in every picture she posts.

_____

She keeps showing and giving over the Internet. I only smile because I know what she’s doing. She wants me to see, so she shows me in a way that makes it look like she’s not. It keeps her safe without having to admit it to me or herself.

She keeps me updated, yet I give her nothing online in hopes that curiosity will bring her back.

____

I’m one step closer to our future. Another few steps and she’ll force me to come get her if she doesn’t give in soon.

Life without Grace was… planning all the ways to get her back.

N.P.

Finale:

Catching Grace

35

Grace age 22

Noah age 23

Grace is graduating this week. I won’t go see her, even though I want to. I’m almost ready to go get her. Just a few more things and I’ll be completely prepared. She’s not faded from my thoughts at all, and I’m willing to throw my heart and soul out there once again in hopes that it reaches her this time. I’m coming… soon, whether she likes it or not.

I’ve let her run, now it’s time to catch her. Days aren’t guaranteed, we should both know that given everything with her mom and mine, I don’t want to waste another year letting her hideaway in guilt.

I want her in my arms.

N.P.

“Here you go, Ms. Harper,” Jimmy said, handing me a piece of paper. I looked down and saw that he was giving me a goodbye note. Within the next few classes, I would receive even more papers or hugs from the students I had been with the past semester. Today was the last day of the school year.

A girl named Sarah almost tackled me with a hug last period. “Are you going to be back next year?” she asked me.

I smiled. “I don’t know,” I told her honestly.