Page 80 of Fall From Grace

Then it came to an end and I moved out of his lap and he drove me home.

I thought our night together would end like that, without us talking but of course, Noah jumped out of the Jeep and followed after me. “I don’t suppose to you want to come back to me now?” His voice was raw and unmasked.

I blinked my tears away as I turned to face him. “I’m leaving this town.” It was only when I said those words that I realized I had made a decision for my future.

He nodded, placing his hands in his pockets as he looked down then back up at me once more. “I’m going to wait for you,” he promised.

I covered my eyes and whispered, “Don’t wait.”

“You’re it for me, you’re always going to be it.” He stepped closer. “So, go find your yourself. Find that peace you need and while you do, I’ll be building our future until you come back to me.”

My lips quivered as I cried, but I didn’t uncover my eyes. “What if I don’t come back?”

“Then I’ll still be waiting.” I couldn’t see the blue in his eyes, it was so dark… they were truly haunting me though, his earnest gaze and rugged beauty. I wanted to forever push him to see how much he stayed. I was twisted because I wanted him to while I continued to make myself suffer… that’s what I was doing, wasn’t it? Making myself miserable to accept the guilt. “I can’t have you right now, I see what you’re doing to yourself and us. I can’t walk away, I can’t stand to see you this way but you won’t let me be next to you. You’ve got me stuck in a pause. You know it, I know it, and I can’tnotwait for you… so yes, Grace, I’ll still be right here waiting for you to realize how wrong you are about what you should feel.”

I dropped my hand and met his eyes. He was so beautiful standing underneath the moon with his heart on his sleeve and his soul bared for me to see within the words he spoke.

“You won’t wait. You’ll move on,” I cried childishly, knowing I wasn’t supposed to want him to wait but I still did.

He wrapped me in his arms one last time. “I promised, didn’t I? I don’t want anyone else. I don’t want to touch another woman and I won’t. Just like I said.”

“Don’t wait,” I denied my feelings once again as I walked away from him. I pushed his reassurance right back in his face.

Dad was sitting on the bottom step when I opened the door and it spooked me enough that I jumped, grabbing my chest. “Was that Noah?” he asked.

I was too stunned to answer at first, I couldn’t believe Dad was still up waiting for me to get home like he cared. I slipped off my shoes and looked at him. His red hair was unkempt and he was wearing his sleeping clothes. He had lost weight in the last year. “Don’t worry, we aren’t together,” I muttered. “I went to a bonfire and drank a few, so Noah thought he had to show up and bring me home.” He nodded and it made me angry. “What? You’re not gonna get angry that I was out drinking?” I laughed sadly. “You really don’t care at all anymore, do you?”

I didn’t wait for him to reply.

_____

The next morning, Dad stepped into my bedroom and sat down on my bed. I gave him a wide-eyed look as I peeled my hair from my face. He placed a bank book in front of me. “It’s your savings account that your mom and I made for you when you were little. I should have told you about it once you turned eighteen,” he mumbled as he got back off the bed quickly.

“I didn’t know I had one,” I told him.

“Your mom didn’t want you to know. It was meant to be a graduation present.” He placed his hands in his pockets and looked at the picture of me and her on my nightstand next to another one of me and Noah when we were kids. “I’ll buy you a vehicle for graduation, something I’ll be comfortable with you driving all year round.”

I raised up and frowned. “I don’t understand…”

“You’re planning on going to college somewhere other than here, ain’t you?” he asked. “I heard bits and pieces last night… your conversation with Noah.”

“That’s not what I mean.” I sighed. “I mean, why are you suddenly doing this? That eager to get rid of me?” It hurt even more to say the words.

He walked toward the door. “I don’t know how to be, Grace, your mom took care of you and me both. I miss her so bad I can’t stand it.” He hurried back out the door no sooner than he said what he wanted to say.

He brought me home a white Ford Escape the following week and handed over the keys. The money Mom and Dad had saved up for me since birth was enough to do me for years, but I had already decided that I would search for a job once I moved to Kentucky. I decided on an out-of-state college. It wasn’t about the school as much as it was just wanting to get away from Dad and all these memories. It also hadn’t been easy to find an apartment that allowed dogs. I couldn’t leave Gus behind.

I spent my summer hanging out with Tiffany and Sara before we all went our separate ways. I didn’t talk to Noah anymore, but I kept up with him on Facebook.

Then fall arrived, and Gus and I were gone.

Only a few days after we settled into our apartment, there was a knock on the door. When I opened it, I was surprised to see a familiar face.

“Dustin?”

And, so college life began.

Life without Noah and Mom was...